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Part 2 of a 3-part series on motherhood, spiritual growth, and the art of slowing down In Part 1 , I shared about the paradox of finding freedom in not being needed. In this post, I share the dramatic wake-up calls that taught me that slowing down isn't just "nice-to-have"—it's essential. Sometimes it takes breaking your ankle while running through the woods to learn to slow down. I'm a firm believer in signs from the universe—those “spiritual breadcrumbs” that guide us when we're willing to pay attention. These breadcrumbs can point us toward any number of life lessons.  In looking back, some of my most meaningful breadcrumbs have consistently taught me about the art of slowing down. Sometimes the universe whispers. Sometimes it shouts. And sometimes, when we're really not listening, it forces us to stop completely. Spiritual Breadcrumb #1: The Broken Ankle That Broke Me Open My first major “Slow Down, Sister!” breadcrumb (that I finally paid attention to) arrived during what I thought was an attempt to care for myself.  I went to a spa (Good choice!)… and was convinced to do a trail run (Really Bad Choice especially given I didn’t run then and still don’t!)  But, relaxing wasn’t good enough: I was determined to push my body toward some version of “better." Less than a mile into the run, I promptly tripped and broke my ankle. The pain was awful, the recovery worse, but the metaphor couldn’t have been clearer: I wasn't actually slowing down or taking care of myself—I was just pushing hard in a different direction. I had taken my stress and anxiety about everything else and poured it into "improving" my body, but the driving energy was the same. The universe had literally stopped me in my tracks. Lying there with a broken ankle, I couldn't ignore the message anymore. This seemed like an apt metaphor for how I was living my entire life—always running toward something, never pausing to ask if I actually wanted to go there. Spiritual Breadcrumb #2: The Highway Wake-Up Call The second breadcrumb came during what was meant to be a peaceful retreat to Utah with my daughter. We were driving on a beautiful two-lane highway, surrounded by stunning landscapes, with no deadlines and nothing but precious time together ahead of us. But when the car in front of me was going slower than I wanted, I decided to pass it. To what end? We had nowhere urgent to be. Still, I went for it. And since I was already in the left lane, I figured—why not pass the next car too? That’s when the 18-wheeler I thought was “way in the distance” appeared terrifyingly close. In that split second, my daughter’s life and mine hung in the balance. By sheer grace—and the mercy of the driver I was trying to pass—we survived. She let me back in. She saved us. The question rang in my ears: To what end are we always striving to go faster, harder? The Pattern Becomes Clear At that point, I became more vigilant about noticing these breadcrumbs. The message was becoming impossible to ignore: my inherent urge to push, to be better, faster, to be of service to others (even when they weren't asking for it), to be NEEDED —this energy was literally dangerous. I've gotten better at recognizing and responding to these signs, but that driving force still lives inside me. But now I have tools: mindfulness, breathwork (I’m finishing my certification soon—more on that later!), coaching (yes, even coaches need coaches-- I highly recommend it-- wink wink), writing, qigong, meditation, yoga.  These practices have become my antidote to the striving. They bring me back into flow. Into alignment. Into presence. The Ongoing Journey The universe doesn’t stop teaching, and I don’t stop needing reminders. Even now, during my daughter’s senior year of high school and all that it entails, my son deep into college, and my own evolving identity as a mom, I feel that familiar tug to rush, to fill every moment, to keep moving.  But I'm finally learning to pause first. To breathe. To ask: What would slowing down look like right now? Have you received spiritual breadcrumbs in your own life? What wake-up calls have forced you to examine how you're moving through the world? Share your stories in the comments—I believe we learn as much from each other's breadcrumbs as from our own.

Part 1 of a 3-part series on motherhood, spiritual growth, and the art of slowing down Here’s the epiphany I had on my yoga mat after sending both of my kids off to school this week: The Yoga Mat Moment After dropping my daughter off for her first day of senior year of high school, I unrolled my yoga mat. For the first time all summer, I wasn’t just doing yoga—I was enjoying  it. Somewhere between breath and stretch, it hit me: the lightness I felt wasn’t about the pose. It was about not being alert to others' needs for the first time in three months. The hyper-vigilance I’d carried all summer in the service of my family had lifted. It was an amazing summer with my family (and 13-year-old golden doodle Daisy) back under one roof.  The whole pack.  I basked in the presence of everyone and even declined a very fun trip away with my college girlfriends because I couldn’t bear the thought of missing out on any of it.    There were so many great things about the summer, but maybe, just maybe, the reason I loved it so much is that I felt needed.  I felt a huge sense of melancholy sending my kids back to school-- the old saying about the moments are long and the years are short, never feeling truer as I bade farewell to my 20-year-old son and 17-year-old daughter. But that morning on my mat, I realized something else: not  being needed felt good too. Which left me wondering—what happens when the itch to be needed shows up again? Why Being Needed Feels So Good If we’re honest, most of us—especially us moms—find a lot of fulfillment in being needed. It gives us purpose, direction, even identity. But here’s the tension: the whole point of raising kids is for them to need us less. So what do we do with that void? Where do we turn when the pull to feel useful sneaks back in? The Autumn Trap Fall hands us the perfect opportunity to explore this. After summer’s beautiful chaos, who doesn’t welcome the structure of school? But here’s the trap: instead of leaning into the gift of a quieter house, we just replace one form of busy-ness with another. We over-schedule, obsess about their futures, or fill every moment with tasks that look  important but mostly keep us spinning. It’s like swapping our kids’ dependency for our own addiction to productivity. Why do we do this? Maybe guilt. Maybe the belief that a “good” parent is one who is constantly sacrificing. Maybe because “busy” feels safer than stillness. Looking back, I can see how often I fell into this pattern—every move I made in service of raising “exceptional humans.” I wouldn’t have admitted it then, but it was always there. The greeting card I bought ten years ago and still haven't sent. See more at: Momming Ain’t Easy A Different Question As I sit here surrounded by Fall's first whispers—crisp air and a cool breeze that sent me inside for a blanket—I'm breathing deeply post-yoga, taking in the salt air and the promising aroma of leaves that hint at autumn's approach. My house is messy, my to-do list is long, and the kids’ rooms are still full of the chaos they left behind. But what if I just shut their doors? What if I don’t have to do it all right now? I take another deep breath and let this revolutionary idea sink in: this moment of not being needed is not a loss. It’s a gift. The real question isn’t how to fill the space. It’s how to embrace  it. How do I find joy in not being needed—without rushing back into old patterns? The Answer I Keep Coming Back To The answer, at least for me, has come through a trail of spiritual breadcrumbs (more on that soon). It’s simple but not easy: learning to slow down. (See When the Universe Forces You to STOP: My Most Powerful Spiritual Breadcrumbs .) To pause. To savor. To let the exhale last a little longer. And maybe—just maybe—to discover that my worth isn’t tied to how needed I am.

Click Image to View or Listen Last month, I was privileged to be a guest on SOS Radio Live's "Stories of Survivor's" podcast with my friend Serina Dansker. Serina, who lost her 16-year-old son Scott to suicide a few years ago, is magically transforming he r own grief into hope and healing, touching the lives of so many with stories on her wonderful and uplifting podcast that I encourage you to tune into every Sunday at 1:30 p.m. on SOSradio.live . Serina and I broke down the challenges facing parents today, including managing parental stress, redefining what success looks like, supporting our kids' unique journeys, and accepting that their path might look different from what we imagined. Together, we explored how parents can learn to silence their relentless inner critics and embrace a more confident, connected, and compassionate approach to raising children. Serina's team provided this description of the episode: " From everyday struggles to deep emotional reflections, Michelle offers practical insights, mindset tools, and heartfelt encouragement for caregivers at every stage of the parenting path. Whether you’re a new parent or a seasoned one, this episode is your reminder that trusting yourself is the greatest gift you can give your child—and yourself. Tune in for wisdom, support, and a fresh perspective that just might change the way you parent forever." About SOS~Stories of Survivors: Stories of Survivors* is a transformative and empowering show where the triumph of the human spirit takes center stage. Hosted by Serina Dansker, this show brings together real-life stories of people who have faced life’s darkest challenges—whether it’s surviving illness, overcoming trauma, the unimaginable pain of losing a child, or battling adversity—and emerged stronger, wiser, and more resilient. At *Stories of Survivors*, we believe in the power of shared experiences, creating a safe space for difficult conversations about mental health, loss, and pain, while offering practical advice and real-world strategies to help you rise above your own challenges. Every episode features a courageous guest who shares their personal journey of survival and the lessons they’ve learned along the way. Their stories will inspire and uplift you, reminding you that no matter what obstacles you face, there is always hope, strength, and a way forward. What makes *Stories of Survivors* truly special is its heart-centered approach, providing not just comfort but a roadmap for healing and thriving. Through moments of reflection, deep interviews, and engaging activities, you’ll walk away with actionable tips, life-changing mindset shifts, and a renewed sense of purpose. Tune in every week to discover that you are not alone—and that your own story of resilience is waiting to be written. Together, we’ll find hope, strength, and success in the face of adversity. Transcript: Serina Dansker   Hi and Welcome back to sos stories of survivors. I'm your host, Serena danske, and today I have an amazing guest, Michelle Robertson. She's a parenting coach, a speaker, a former PR powerhouse. She's traded her campaigns for connection. She now works with parents who feel overwhelmed, especially when raising their teens. She helps them quiet their inner critic, reconnect with their instincts, and shift from self doubt to grounded confidence. If you've ever shared if you've ever stared at your teenager and thought, is this normal? Then this is a conversation for you, because you are definitely not alone. Michelle, welcome, and let's start with the big question, why does parenting feel so hard today, especially for those raising teens? Michelle Robertson   Oh, well, Serena, thank you so much for having me, and what a beautiful introduction. Why does parenting feel so hard? Well, in short, because it is so hard, it's so hard. And one of the things I talk a lot to my clients about is just how different our upbringing was from our children's upbringing. Oh gosh, yeah, it's 180 degrees different. We had none of the of the quote, unquote, tools that our kids have that are making their lives so difficult, knowledge of what other people were doing most of the time. So the comparison was not in existence to the degree it is today. So that, in and of itself, makes it so hard, and it's hard for us to relate to our kids a lot of the time. And we try, we try and we try, but it just, I think it's really the comparison and the fact that our we as adults are also comparing ourselves to the beautiful pictures that we see on Instagram and Facebook and social media. And so that comparison leads to a lot of heartache. And there, and I can go into, I mean, there, there was a surgeon general warning last year, late last year, a surgeon general advisory about the effects of stress on parents. That is like an Surgeon General advisory about the effects of smoking on one's health. So parental stress is real. It is real. It is so real that the Surgeon General is warning about adverse effects. Serina Dansker   That's just insane. I mean, you know, I think back to my own childhood, knowing my mom, you know. Just let me, you know. I mean, as long as I was home by dinner, you know, or if I wasn't going to be I called in, I just, you know, did my own thing. I I never even turned to her. A lot of times when I was struggling with friends and stuff like that, because what would she know? Michelle Robertson   Right? There was a lot less fear back then. It seems we are all really afraid a lot of Serina Dansker   the time. Yeah, what are some of the biggest challenges that you hear from parents in your sessions? Michelle Robertson   Oh, gosh, it runs the gamut. I mean, you know, just regarding fear, I feel, I feel like that is sort of the undercurrent of everything that is, that is what drives so many issues, is that we parent from a place of fear, and that results in over parenting and hovering. It results in, you know, not doing a whole lot of listening to our kids. It and so as a result, we're talking at them, and we're lecturing a lot versus trying really to relate to them and listening and being really curious and that. And you know, by constantly lecturing, you're sort of reading a separation because no one wants to be lectured Serina Dansker   to. No, no, no, you're right. You're right that, yeah, I think the whole fear factor is, I mean, we're so afraid of making a mistake, you know, and and, you know, there's that that leads to the whole perfection thing, which I'll totally want to dive in with you later. But you know, I know that you in your own career. I mean, you've, you've made a pretty big shift from a career in PR to coaching parents. And I'm just curious what drew you to this path. You know, what inspired you? Michelle Robertson   What's your spark? My spark was my own experience in parenting, and how hard it it was, and how rewarding it is now, but in the thick of it, my my kids are the very best thing in my life, but raising them, I often felt really ill equipped. I really, you know, I often my kids who are literally like two of my very best friends today, thank god you know when they're they're 17 and 20 now, but when they were little, both of them were diagnosed with ADHD. My daughter was has dyslexia and dysgraphia and of other learning differences, and it resulted in in school being really hard for them, and as a result, life kind of was hard when they're when you know, you go to school all day and it's hard, yeah, come home and the safe person to take your frustration out on his mom and...I don't think I didn't get the memo about that, and so I had to really, like, sharpen My Skills regarding responding versus reacting, yeah, patience, empathy and really understanding that my kids were struggling and they weren't like while it was being taken out on me. In some cases, it wasn't about me at all, right? It was about what they were going through, and so shifting that mindset took some time. But I think it's hard for and I think that's sort of like a very universal feeling with a lot of parents, regardless of your child's profile is, you know, we take things personally, and we think that it should be Pollyanna and leave it to Bieber, and it's it's often just not, especially in today's time that we live in and and so in experiencing my own hardship through parenting, I wanted to somehow channel that in a way To help other people. And so I shifted my career when my father got sick a lot, you know, gosh, it's been like almost 10 years now. He was diagnosed with terminal cancer, and I kind of that was my epiphany, that I wanted to a be there for him, and the remaining months he had left, and then I wanted to be able to be more present with my kids, because I was running a PR business, and it was, it was all encompassing. And so I shifted and slowly decided, you know, slowly learned that my my laser focus on my kids, wasn't really helping them like it was a little bit too much. I had taken everything I was doing with my business that I was running to parenting, and so it was a slow process of kind of figuring out, you know, okay, let's learn how to do this better. And then I wanted something fulfilling for in life to do, and I found coaching, and it's been great night. And I coach people across the board. I coach a lot of parents, but I coach people who are, who are, you know, not parents or not struggling with parenthood. So it's been really, I It's an extremely rewarding career. It's it's a lot, it's very fulfilling, and just being able to help people is is awesome. Serina Dansker   That's so amazing. And you are such a bright light that shines, and you have so much to offer. So I'm, I'm so happy that you found this career, because it suits you so well. Thank you, Serena, so nice of you to say. I figured, well, I'll take a little fun, a fun question here, what's, what's one thing that you never imagined yourself saying as a parent, but You totally do. Michelle Robertson   Oh, god. Okay, so I could go really inappropriate. I'm not gonna go there. But one thing that I that, I think that I learned to say, and it's resonating right now, because this just happened, my son is in college, and he's been having a really great semester, awesome after not some So, not so great semesters. Um, and he he entered college. So just as a little backstory. He entered college right after breaking his neck, Serina Dansker   oh my gosh Michelle Robertson   And, as his neurosurgeon, said he was a sneeze away from being a quadriplegic or dying. I ever told you that Serena and so this kid who is, I mean, he has such fortitude and bravery and perseverance, Serina Dansker   wow, Michelle Robertson   picked himself up, had neurosurgery, had his spinal cord fixed, in short, and went to college the next week, Serina Dansker   the next week, oh my God, to go to college. Michelle Robertson   So, um, and I literally was, it doesn't really matter what my reaction was, but you can imagine I was like, Oh my God, I don't think I can let this kid go. And so anyway, he going, I know when we didn't know this, but we were like, Okay, well, he wants to go. Let's let him go to college. So he went to college, and it was hard, really, really hard for him, and mostly because this kid was traumatized, yeah, yeah. I mean, he had had a near death experience and and he hadn't dealt with that trauma. Yeah. Fast forward, he is a second semester or the last semester sophomore, and he has picked it up. I mean, he is like, transformed. He has figured it out, and I'm beautiful, proud of him. He set his expectations for himself so high, and he, I mean, he just sort of like told himself he was going to get straight A's, and then when that didn't happen, was so self flagellating. I think he was so he got a bad grade on a test, and he called us, and he's like, I'm done. And this is what he does. He he, um, catastrophizes, and as many of us do, Serina Dansker   oh yes and yes, it's, it's terrible and Michelle Robertson   but he ended up with a B in the class. But I said to him, and this is something I would never have said when I was just learning how to be a parent. Doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter at all. Like, a you're alive. Like, that's my biggest like, amen, amen to that. And B, like, it's one test. This is a blip in your whole life. Yes, um, Serina Dansker   who cares? That's, you know, that's such a great point, Michelle. And you know, being on this journey that I'm on too, I can totally relate to what you're saying. For some reason, the younger people today, they put so much pressure on themselves to be perfect, to be the absolute best, and when they don't get that A that 95 or above, they're so disappointed in themselves and and feel like they're disappointing us and everyone else around them, and that there's no coming back from this. And it's like, give yourself grace, please. You're not perfect. You know, by any means, none of us are. It's a journey, right? And a B is good, a Michelle Robertson   C is good. I mean, like, you know, it doesn't matter. It just doesn't and so I have parents who I coach, who have middle schoolers, and to them, they see the path ahead. They see, oh, he didn't do his homework today. That means, and that's where the catastrophication starts. He didn't do his homework. That means he's not going to get us to the next level of math in high school, and that means he won't be as eligible for these top schools, and that means that he won't have a career in blah, blah, blah, you know, parents can May I probably, probably back in middle school, set the stage for his thinking, you know, I mean, I I don't even realize Serina Dansker   that. You know what you're saying. Yeah. It's yeah. Michelle Robertson   So, so I think we have to be really on guard, starting at an early age, while the pressure that we're putting on these guys, because we it really, truly doesn't matter. And I don't know that you can really know that until you have older kids. I really don't think that the stakes are as obvious, and maybe it's because of what we've seen and what we've endured. Maybe I don't know, I don't know what it is, but I know that when I would my kids were in middle school, I was very much of a person who looked ahead and tried to, like, solve for, you know, getting into that school Serina Dansker   who cares? Yeah, exactly it doesn't. Michelle Robertson   They will get into college. That's what I tell everyone. They will get into college. They will get into the school that's right for them, yes, and absolutely, um, their mental health is the very top priority, you Serina Dansker   know. And it brings me to my next question, because so many parents feel like they're failing if their kid doesn't get into an Ivy League or into the best possible school, and you know, even when they're giving it their all. But where? Where is this pressure coming from? I mean, can you talk about that a little bit? Michelle Robertson   I think it's really interesting that we parents take our kids performance as a referendum on how we parent. And I think it's really important to know, to to know and accept the fact that our kids are individuals. Yeah, they are of their own nature, probably more than they are of who we nurture, you know. And they we, we take so much responsibility on ourselves for who they become, yeah, and at the end of the day, they are who they are. And I think if we can just accept that at an earlier age and be okay with who they are, they are going to be more okay with who they are. Serina Dansker   Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. If they Michelle Robertson   aren't the cookie cutter of whoever the excellent kid is in your town. That's okay, that's okay. They are an excellent version of themselves. They're their own unique being. And we are so we are so influenced by social media other people, you know, and if we can, this is back to the social media thing and the stress that we're all under. Yes, we can put blinders onto that and just accept who these little people are for who they are, everyone will be happier. Serina Dansker   I agree with that. I mean, it's so easy to, you to, you know, compare yourself to the Joneses or and you know, well, little Johnny, you know, is in the advanced math, but my little Sally, you know, is just scraping by and needs help, you know. And as a parent, you're constantly, you know, criticizing, or feel like you've, you know, you have that inner critic in there and, and, I mean, it does show up in your parenting, too. I mean, it must, right? Yeah. Michelle Robertson   I mean, we all, especially where we live in a very hard driving area of the country. And I think there are a lot of these areas, but we happen to live in one of the most hard driving area of the country, outside of New York City, there are a lot of very excellent, brilliant people that expect excellence and brilliance from their offspring, and that is contagious. And while it can be a good thing for some people, because that's an example they aspire to and can achieve. That's just not who everybody is. That's not to say they're not excellent, but they're not going to be like not everyone's the master of the universe and and that's great. We don't want everyone to be a master of the universe. That would be a pretty miserable example. Miserable existence, right? Yes, so, yeah, I don't know. I don't know the answer, other than just kind of wild acceptance, aggressive, violent acceptance of who you created Serina Dansker   and who they are, and just Yeah, to love the people that they are. I mean, you often talk about trusting your intuition, you know, and you know, sometimes you're, you know you're in the middle of chaos where you're you know the child is lashing out at you because they had a bad day at school. Maybe they didn't get the a on the test. Maybe they didn't get picked to start in the lineup of whatever sport they're in, you know, and it's all coming down on you and you know, as a parent, how do you reconnect with that, that intuition, that inner voice, you know? Do you have any tools or advice, I have a few Michelle Robertson   things I'm going to actually just make myself a note here so I don't lose sight. There's a few things. First of all, you mentioned inner critic? Yeah, not, not a single human being on this planet doesn't have at least one inner critic, but often many. Yeah, and those are the voices in our head who are telling us we're not good enough. We're not smart enough, not enough in whatever way. We're not doing it well enough. We're not we're screwing up. Those voices come from any number of sources in our lives. It can come from like a great I have a client who channels she attributes one of her inner voices to her great, great grandmother, Barbara, who came over from Germany and is like complete, you know, psycho about cleanliness and neatness and tidiness and, you know, so, so it doesn't even need to be someone immediately in your life. But these inner voice, these, very loud inner critics drown out the extremely wise inner wisdom that we all also have. It's a very quiet voice in our It's the voice of our soul, I believe, yeah, and it lives within us, and we have to get very quiet in order to hear it, and that's the intuition that you're talking about. Yes, and I have, I have a client who talks about, I think it's a great term margin. She's like, I she has four kids. She's like, I have no margin because she's four kids. One of her kids is autistic and is, you know, a tough, more challenging person to raise and and, and she's like, I with everything going on, I have no margin to like, just reconnect with myself. He's making a very conscious effort to create space for herself, which is so important, so important we lose sight of good, the importance of giving ourselves grace, giving themselves that time, that quiet time to close our eyes and reconnect with that Wise inner voice that lives in all of us. And when we can do that regularly, lots of change happens. You're much more balanced. You're much more dismissive of your inner critics that are squawking in your ear about how you're not doing it well enough and then talking to someone about it like, I mean, you we treat therapy or coaching as a nice to have as something I don't really have time for that. I don't really need it. A single soul on this planet who wouldn't benefit from just talking to a rejected third party, absolutely, you know, and just, you know, hashing some stuff out. Every single time I have meeting with clients, they walk away saying, oh my gosh, I'm so happy that we just talked through that I never would have been able to come to those conclusions on my own. And I'm not telling them what to do. They're coming, they're they're coming to their self awareness completely on their own, just by me asking Serina Dansker   them questions. And that's the beautiful part of it. I mean, you know, it's just that, that when you're in the throes of life, it's so hard to calm your mind enough that you can pivot and see, you know, I guess the forest beyond the tree, you know, Michelle Robertson   totally, oh my gosh. It's so funny that you say that the very the top image of my website is just the light coming in through a forest, and that light is wisdom. It is it really, if we don't pay attention to it, we don't see it, and we don't get the benefit of it, yeah? Serina Dansker   So, so, you know, let's get a little practical. You know, how do you help a parent go from being in that reactive state to being more reflective when the tensions are running high, you know, when you want to flame the pot of pasta and just go, I'm done, Michelle Robertson   yeah, oh, my gosh. Beautiful guest hasn't been there. It's such a human experience with zero judgment. But it does take intentionality. It does take tools. I have a number of them, one very simple, two very simple ones. I'll pass along right now. Simply by putting your hand on your heart, is a calming method of bringing down the temperature of just whatever is happening in your brain. It is, it stimulates the vagus nerve, and it, it brings, it brings you into a better sense of calmness. So if all else fails, deep breath, hand on heart, Serina Dansker   I love that I feel calm already, right. Michelle Robertson   Taking walking away, not engaging is so okay. Knowing that you don't have to win an argument, accepting that you don't have to win an argument is so key. We feel like, I mean, I think it's probably the way that we were parented. Yeah, my way or the highway. Yeah. I don't know, a lot of us had that parent. Oh yeah. It really like, you know, it's you. We all know that we are in charge. But one little argument with your kid. If you're dysregulated, just walk away, go, take space for yourself. Serina Dansker   Yeah, that's great advice. Michelle Robertson   It's, it's, it's, it's sometimes really hard to to act on, because we we think we have to win. Yeah, it gets competitive, and it also depends on how triggering your child is. So we want to, we all have one child that triggers us more than the other. Most of us do, yes, and so, so the other, the other tool that I teach to people, and this is one a lot of people do know, but if they don't know it. It is amazing at rewiring your brain when it's when you're dysregulated, the box breathing, or it's also called square breathing. What is that? So it's used by the Navy SEALs in moments of extreme, you know, stress or distress. It is very simple. It's four or five breaths in, inhale, hold at the top, four to five breaths and all it's all consistent. So if you choose four, then stick with four throughout the whole box. Okay? So inhale, four, hold four at the top. Exhale, for, hold, for, inhale for it's a cycle so you inhale, hold, exhale, hold, all on the same count. Wow. And that rewires your brain from a dysregulated place to a much more regulated place. Interesting. I'm gonna try that. It is really magical. My husband, I always, I always assume that people know about it, and so I don't. I'm not gonna assume anymore, because it's even if they do. It's a great reminder. I've never heard of it. Okay. Michelle Robertson   No, this is magical. And whenever I'm talking to people, he's like, remember to talk about box breathing, because I taught it to him. And he's like, him. And he's like, it's so, I mean, it really does. It makes such a difference. Do 10 rounds of box breathing, and you are, you're like, Okay, I can do this. Like your your regulation has come back online, and it's, it's pretty, pretty magical. Those are two easy things to to do, Wow, very easy things. Walk away is a big one. Yeah, we don't, we don't give ourselves the grace sometimes to walk away. Serina Dansker   That's true. That's really true, you know, because we feel like we have to finish it, you know. Yeah, it's, you know, it's, that's, you know, fight or flight instinct. Sometimes, when you feel like you're being attacked, right? You're Michelle Robertson   exactly right. And that is biological. So what happens in our brain is we have this little bean size thing in our brain called the amygdala, and when it is activated in a moment of stress, that is what our brain goes to, is fight or flight. So to get out of those fight or flight moments when we're triggered. Those are some tools for doing it. Wow, but you do have to have the intentionality and the awareness of what's happening Serina Dansker   that, yeah, that's key, right? Michelle Robertson   It's, it's, it's critical. It's really critical. How Serina Dansker   can a parent tell if they're starting to shift from the constant stress to More Confidence. Can they? You know, is there something that that will signal you or, Michelle Robertson   I mean, I think it takes a lot of practice, yeah, but I'll my my client, who I was referring to before, who talks about margin. I mean, she is, like, my best case study. I'm so proud of her. She went from just a panicked woman who was like completely overwhelmed by so much going on and she has just built such a practice of intentionality. She has noticed how important self care is. She has noticed her own reactions to things that are so triggering to her. And one thing we haven't talked about is control. So many times we feel like we we need control. We want to be in control. We want to control the outcome. And when I work with parents, we talk about all the things that are triggering, and we throw it up on a whiteboard, and they're all so completely valid. Like, you know, they're everything that they say is 1,000,000% valid of why they would be triggered by these things. It could be like, my kid won't get up to go to school. My kid is never on time. My kid never does his homework. He's disrespectful. He, you know, all these things that are like, 100% triggering and valid. We talk about, can you, what can you do to control these things, right? Right? And most of the time, the only thing you can do to control the situation is how you respond, Yes, because the more you fight, the more it escalates. Serina Dansker   Oh, boy, I tell you, that is so true. It Michelle Robertson   is. And we think we have to fight, fight, fight, and we're going to somehow win a fight around these really hard behaviors. And if you can shift your thinking and your mindset to I'm not going to fight it anymore. The kid can have natural consequences. He doesn't do his homework. The consequences are held at school, right? Or there are consequences that we can hold, but it's not going to be a fight, right? I'm because that that will not end well, no, 99% of the time. So what can I do? I can walk away. I can square breathe, put my hand on my heart. No yoga class. I can, you know, I can take care of myself and show my child that he can also take care of himself. That's, Serina Dansker   that's amazing. I mean, that's, that's, it's, I've embraced more and more of you know, you can't control other people. You can only control your reaction to them, and it's something I didn't learn for for 50 years. It's Michelle Robertson   not taught to us, no. Serina Dansker   And it's such a powerful lesson. It really is. It is a powerful lesson. Michelle Robertson   And I and I think why? One of the reasons it's so hard for us, and I hear so many people say, this is, I listen to my parents. Yeah, like many of us, like what our parents said was what we did. We they were the authority, and we followed their direction, and, and, and, you know, nine times out of 10 that was the case in our generation and the generation before ours, our parents generation, like, right? It was, it was their way or the highway. Yeah. Now it's not like that. And I don't know why. I really don't know why, but what I do know is that the way that we were parented, the model that we were taught to follow, is pretty irrelevant. Now it just doesn't work in this day and age. Serina Dansker   Yeah, it's so true. I mean, if you could invent one parenting gadget for today's world that actually worked, Michelle Robertson   what would it do? Oh, God, it'd be like magic. Serina Dansker   Sure. Michelle Robertson   Is time and just like, go back in time. Oh gosh, oxygen mask. You know, I always this is a very this is kind of a but it is it. It's a cliche for a reason, the put your own oxygen mask before assisting others. Yes, if there was one that just dropped out of the ceiling when we needed it, that wouldn't be right, like it knew, like it was, like, something that we wear, it's a wearable, and like it triggers, like it's triggered when we're triggered, but we don't know we're triggered yet. Our brain doesn't know, but the oxygen mask does, so it just drops down and, like, the energy, Serina Dansker   the energy around, you know? So then all of a Michelle Robertson   sudden, okay, I need to breathe now. Serina Dansker   Because you sometimes you're so in the moment, you can't even realize that you do. You need to breathe and, and it's so important, because if you are not calm and, or you're not in a coming from a good place, you're not going to be much help to anyone else, right? So true. You know Michelle Robertson   who I'm thinking of right now I'm thinking of Jonathan, uh huh, when he says, breathe. Yes. It is not something that we remember to do, which is so weird, because it is so the reason that we are alive is through our breath. It is so critical to our existence. But sometimes we hold our breath, especially Serina Dansker   so what Michelle is referring to is she and I sometimes will play tennis together, and we get in those heated moments where we're trying to, you know, have this great rally and win the point. And our coach, Jonathan, would always say, remember to breathe, and we're turning red because we're holding our breath. And it's true. Yes, Michelle Robertson   it's so true. Shout out to Jonathan. Why is Jonathan? Serina Dansker   Oh, that's so funny. But yeah, you know it's funny because you know, for us, you know, success in that moment in tennis is you're just so focused, like the focus that you don't you don't even realize what you're doing. And if you transfer that to being a parent, you know, let's talk about defining success as a parent, or redefining that success as a parent, right? You know, and what that really would mean for a parent. Can we talk about that a little bit Michelle Robertson   worse? Yes. I mean, I think when you're when you're a young parent, you are your your child's success Serina Dansker   equates to your success like potty training and things Michelle Robertson   like, things like that. Like, little milestones are like, Okay, I did that. I taught them to pee, I taught them I'm a potty. I I taught them to speak, I taught and then, as they get older, oh, they made good grades. That's because I'm such a great parent. Oh, they, you know, they're on the honor roll. They made the they're starting on lacrosse team. What do you I mean, we do we like and we feel pride, and a lot of us, even though many wouldn't admit it, are, like, I did a good job here, and by the way, you did, congratulations. Like, it's so great. It is awesome, but that is not your relationship with your child, and that where is where I think success lies in their how you relate to your child, regardless of where they are in life, regardless of their you know, like failing out of college, does he or she know that you love them? Does he or she know that they're that's that love is unconditional? Does he or she? Is he or she able to talk to you and confide in you without feeling judged, without feeling you know more of failure if they're already feeling that way? I think it's the tough moments where where you kind of earn your medal in parenting. It's the it's the moments where you want to show up based on who you are, from a values perspective, not who your parents were, not who your model was, but like who that inner voice tells you you are, who you know to be, even your soul and the way that your relationship is with your child is what we all want in the end, right? We want a positive we want to relate positively. We want to laugh and have fun. And it's not always going to be like that. No, we're not perfect, you know? No, it's absolutely, I mean, people annoy one another, and that's just Serina Dansker   part of life. It's true. It's true. But by and Michelle Robertson   large, your child feels loved, and you relate to them, and they relate to you, and you have a relationship. It's not about how well they did in school. It's not about how well they did on the sports field. It's not about, you know, anything other than your relationship. Serina Dansker   And you know that it's true, it's relationship is everything. And you know, how can a parent support their child without, you know, especially the teenagers, their independence, without micromanaging them. I see it like I'm part of the college groups. And I see so many parents that, you know, have like everything done, doing everything for these teens or young adults. Quite honestly, you know, they're, they're late teens, early 20s, and, you know, a lot of the comments I see that come back is let them figure it out. But you know, how would you encourage a parent or a parent to support their child that way without micromanaging them? You know? Michelle Robertson   Yeah, I mean, it's one of the hardest things in the whole world. I am a recovering swooper. I I am so guilty of doing too much for my kids, especially when you see your kids struggle. Like my ability to be comfortable with my kids discomfort is really subpar, like I and I feel like a lot of people feel that they are like, I'll just do it for them, so that my discomfort is well, right? Serina Dansker   Because you don't want to see them struggling or straight out and Michelle Robertson   yeah, if you can name that and say, this is about me and not about them, that's a big first step. It's hard to watch your kids struggle and know the answer and not tell them the answer, or do it for them, because you want them to succeed, Serina Dansker   right? And if you see a child slipping or or going down a path, that's, you know, yeah, not ideal, you know, or you know, wasn't it my plan? You know, you know. What do you what do you say to that parent? It's like, you know, how do you let the kid fail? Do you feel let your kid fail? Yeah, Michelle Robertson   well, I mean, I think that's where third parties come in, if you get to if it's a path that you know, you really are feeling ill equipped to handle on your own right. Zero to zero shame in calling in the expert. Now, whether or not your child will will engage with the expert, that's one thing, but what you can do is engage with an expert. So like I have calls from people saying, Will you work with my child? Will you fix my child? And I'll say to them, let's talk about you first, right? Because what I learned along the way is that I had to fix me and the way that I related to my kids before anything could be done with them. I had to fix my own approach and how I reacted before, especially if a kid is like, yeah, okay, you're making me go to therapy, but I'm just gonna sit there the whole time. You know what? I mean? Yes, so so much of the work can be done by the parent. But I think, yeah, when you do feel ill equipped, and you feel like the child is going down the wrong path, you it's, it's as important for you to get the support that you need as a parent as as it is for your your child to get the support. And then I think it's setting boundaries that you will hold, because that's sometimes the very, very hardest thing for a parent, is saying, These are my these are the boundaries, and then not moving on them, like that's that's it, and you're on, you're in lockstep with your partner, your spouse, with what those are, yes, and they're understood by the child and the consequences understood. Yeah, a lot of times it really helps if you sit down have the discussion, because a lot of times we don't talk to them. We don't we don't tell them what the expectation is, and communicate. We take communication for granted. So if you can communicate with your child and say, This is the rule in our house, because this and it's if you can say because, and give it a reason that's based on your values, right? Because, you know, my value is honesty, and you don't take $20 out of my purse, it's not okay. So when I, when I, you know when, when you do that, this is the consequence, and it's the consequence that you will follow up on this consequence, that will always be the consequence. And so I think holding boundaries is something we all struggle with and and really kind of being very thoughtful about what boundaries you're setting and holding, sometimes the boundaries you think you should be holding aren't that important, and when you have too many so I'll give an example. I have a client who really wants everyone around the table every night for dinner, and the older your kids get, it's harder to do that. Yeah, and and and I said, Why is it important to you? Because it I completely if it's, if it's something that's like, value based. That isn't about like, that isn't about what you did growing up. Because, as I said, like, what we did growing up is kind of irrelevant now, right? Having if it's causing an argument constantly and lack of peace in the house, right, isn't really important. Like question those things and then base your base your boundaries and your non negotiables on the things that truly are important. That takes a lot of thought. It takes some journaling, maybe some coaching, some therapy. You know, whatever it is, it's interesting. Serina Dansker   The mindset, right? Mindset shift. Michelle Robertson   If you have to have a growth mindset when it comes to parenting, yeah, when you have a fixed mindset, you're like, Well, my dad yelled at me, so I'm going to yell at my kids, right, right? How I Learned to parent, and so that's how I parent. That's very fixed. Serina Dansker And especially if one parent is stuck doing it one way and the other parents willing to pivot, you have that dynamic as well. You know? Yeah, it's, it's it's not easy. Parenting is definitely not there. Doesn't come with instructions. And you know what works for one child doesn't necessarily work for the other child. Michelle Robertson   That's so true because because of the gosh darn nature versus nurture thing, they are born unique beings. You have no control over it. And it's so crazy that like this, these two totally different people can come out of the same DNA. Crazy it is. I, I wrote a blog that was published in a publication called modern women, called and the title is mom and ain't easy. I've heard it, but I don't think our audience has, okay, well, I bought a, I bought a greeting card, like 10 years ago, and it's really cute. It was in this cute little shop in our town that's no longer there. It makes me very sad. And it and it basically said, Mommin’ ain't easy. And I was like, Oh, I'll be able to give this to someone next week. It's sitting in my card file. Now I have, like, I'm a dork with cards. I keep them and, like, pull a pull one out when I need one. Anyway, 10 years later, it's still sitting in my in my card file, and it is, like, the most universal feeling and, and everyone knows it's not easy, but like, I think the reason I've never gave it to anyone was I didn't want anyone to feel exposed like I I see that you're having trouble, because we want it to look so seamless and easy, and it's so not. I don't know why we feel like we have to pretend that it is. But for some reason, where we live, and I don't know if this is everywhere, but I think it might be in way more places than where we live. Yes, it is. Everyone's pretending to have it all together. Serina Dansker   And it's crazy, right? Michelle Robertson   It's it is hard, mommin’ ain't easy, no? Serina Dansker   And it's not. And, you know, I would love you to let us know or Or what do you want every parent listening? Maybe to walk away with today, just one thing, Michelle Robertson   most of all, is to take care of yourself. If nothing else. Let it be a reminder to care for yourself. Put that oxygen mask on, breathe, meditate. I know that's some people have a really hard time with that. Take the time to tap into that wise inner voice and that above anything else, is caring for yourself. Sometimes that can be on a massage table. Sometimes that could be in a pedicure chair. Sometimes that can be, you know, going away for a weekend by yourself, Michelle Robertson   Yes, yes. Or even just reading a great book, going and lying down on the sofa and reading a book, you know? So one client who she's like, sometimes I just go to my closet with a glass of wine. Serina Dansker   There you go. Michelle Robertson   Totally fine. Totally fine. Like, just take that time, take your space, because you are benefiting your child. When you do that, when you care for yourself, you're caring for your child, Serina Dansker it's so true. It is, and it just, I embrace self, love, you know, sometimes just taking, you know, a moment and going to a thrift shop and just browsing around or doing things just just to recharge the batteries. Michelle Robertson   Yeah, whatever it is for you. There's no one size fits all. It's whatever works for you. Serina Dansker Yeah, yeah. That's that's so beautiful, Michelle. And every show that I do, I usually end with one of my son, scotty's poems. And this one, I think, relates to what our children go through, and he was only 15 when he wrote it, but it's so powerful, and it's the way I feel can't be described into words or rhymes Get with the times the kids I once knew or developing, not relishing in the innocence they once had. And I can't handle the weight on my shoulders, as heavy as boulders that pull me down to the ground, making me pinned flat down, losing air as lies fill my lungs, my body speaks the opposite of my mind. I can't take control of the situation at hand. For my body and mind don't communicate. They can't agree on a compromise, so therefore can't synchronize. I mean, this kid just puts into these words so powerful. You can feel it. You know what they struggle with. Serena, I know it's just, but it's you know. And if you could take a moment and realize that this is what these little people or young people or or our peers are going through, and just hold space. Hold space for them, I think is something we don't do enough, you know. And Michelle, this has just been a full of wisdom, laughter and a great talk with you. And thank you so much. You remind us that parenting is not about perfection. It's about being present, right? Michelle Robertson   Progress over perfection, presence over perfection. Serina Dansker I love that, yes, and for anyone that wants to learn more or work with you, Michelle, how can they reach you? Sure Michelle Robertson   my my website is MichelleRobertsonCoaching.com that's great. And there, you'll see how to reach me there, and I'm it brings me great joy to help other people so  Serina Dansker Oh, and you are so full of light and love. And to our listeners, thank you so much for tuning in today. I would love if you could rate the show. If you want to donate that would be most appreciated. Remember, SOS stories of survivors, where survival sparks the sparks the soul. Thank you again for joining us today, and we'll see you soon. Bye. Bye.

At the risk of stating the obvious: Feeling stuck sucks. We’ve all been there. You wake up, go through the motions: unloading the dishwasher, folding the laundry, driving the kids around, clocking into the same job that maybe you’ve grown to resent… You feel rudderless, disconnected from your sense of purpose— a sense of malaise coloring your life while everyone around you seems to have it all figured out.  This can be incredibly isolating. You Are Not Alone If you identify with this feeling and want to fix it, here are three brave moves to put you on the path to getting unstuck while not becoming unglued. Often, we're afraid to voice feelings of stuckness or discontent. It’s a vulnerable thing to admit.  We fear that expressing our true feelings might be too disruptive to those who rely on us. Sometimes doing nothing to make change seems easier than making a life-changing course correction that will bring you joy and fulfillment. You may feel guilt about inconveniencing a colleague or a spouse who have relied on you to stay the course.  No more pretending! Speak up about how you're really feeling.  Anyone who cares about you will not want you to feel so miserable. Maybe they're oblivious to the fact that your status quo is chipping away at your quality of life and possibly even your health, dragging your soul down with it!  Don’t short change yourself. You deserve fulfillment!   Remember, you have to crack some eggs to make the perfect omelette. Be bold about naming what you want and going after it. ( See 6 Ways to Manifest Anything You Desire .) The answer lies within you. You have so much more power and insight than you may realize. Take small steps every day towards understanding and defining your purpose and what makes you feel satisfied. Yes, YOU can do it, but sometimes we all need a little help. This is where a coach, trusted friend or therapist can be invaluable in helping you shed feelings of guilt or complacency and take tangible steps on your path to fulfillment, as well as helping you define what you really want. Someone like this can provide an objective perspective and help you understand your feelings better. They can help you navigate the ups and downs, the uncertainties, and the fears. Remember, you're not alone in this journey.  If you're feeling stuck and need someone to walk beside you, I'm here and would love to help you find your key to fulfillment. Together, we can explore your path to joy, satisfaction, and a life of purpose.

Most parenting advice assumes a typical developmental arc: we guide our kids when they’re little, and gradually step back as they grow. We’re told to stop “meddling” and let them learn through experience. And often, we’re reminded that the goal is to raise confident, capable, independent humans. But what if your child doesn’t fit that mold? It's difficult to know how to parent a child with Pathological Demand Avoidance when traditional guidelines don't apply. For parents of children with Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) —a condition characterized by extreme anxiety around everyday expectations—traditional parenting approaches can backfire. Encouraging independence the usual way may actually increase distress, trigger meltdowns, and damage trust. Here’s why that is—and how parenting for independence looks very different (but no less important) when PDA is part of the picture. What is PDA? PDA involves: Intense resistance to everyday demands , even those the child might want to meet High anxiety , often masked by avoidance, controlling behavior, or what can appear as manipulation An extreme need for autonomy and control Meltdowns or shutdowns  when demands become overwhelming It’s important to understand that PDA is not a behavior problem—it’s a nervous system response . Children with PDA aren't choosing defiance. They're trying to protect themselves from feelings of panic triggered by perceived loss of control. 🔗 More on PDA from the PDA Society (UK) The Questions Parents Ask Many parents—especially of teens and young adults—ask themselves: Is my child asking for help, or am I imposing it? Does my involvement help them grow in confidence and ability? Am I stepping in out of love—or out of fear, anxiety, or control? These are thoughtful, important questions. But for a child with PDA, they need to be reframed through the lens of safety and nervous system regulation . Traditional Parenting vs. PDA-Informed Parenting Here’s how typical advice compares to a PDA-sensitive approach: Traditional Parenting (Neurotypical) PDA-Informed Parenting “Let them try it themselves.” “This might feel like too much. Want to do it your way?” “Natural consequences build resilience.” “Avoiding overwhelm builds trust.” “Give them independence to build confidence.” “Preserve autonomy to reduce anxiety.” “Step back so they can step up.” “Stay close so they feel safe enough to choose.” In other words, your presence , your flexibility , and your emotional co-regulation  are still teaching independence—just on your child’s timeline, and in a way that respects their neurology. Reframing the Questions If your child has PDA, try asking: I s my presence lowering anxiety—or adding pressure? Does this preserve trust and autonomy? Am I respecting their need for control as a form of safety? These shifts don’t mean we stop nurturing growth. It means we grow differently —through partnership, creativity, and compassion. What the Experts Say Several experts are shaping our understanding of PDA and low-demand parenting: 🔹 Dr. Ross Greene Clinical child psychologist and author of The Explosive Child  and Raising Human Beings . Greene’s Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS)  model emphasizes that “ kids do well if they can ,” and that lagging skills—not bad behavior—drive challenging actions.🔗 Lives in the Balance 🔹 Dr. Naomi Fisher Clinical psychologist and author of Changing Our Minds: How Children Can Take Control of Their Own Learning , Fisher explores how traditional models of discipline and education often fail neurodivergent children—including those with PDA—and supports a low-demand, autonomy-first approach . 🔹 Harry Thompson Autistic PDAer and author of The PDA Paradox . Thompson promotes a “non-coercive” model of care, advocating for pressure-free environments  that reduce anxiety and allow relationships to thrive.🔗 The PDA Paradox on Amazon Final Thought Parenting a child with PDA requires courage, creativity, and deep compassion.-- and a whole lot of self-care! You may find yourself walking a path that looks different from your peers. But that’s okay. Just remember: this isn't easy-- especially if you're going it alone. Make sure you're getting the support YOU need and deserve. I'd love to help you and am just a click away. Remember, you’re not giving up on independence.You’re just getting there by another route: One where your child doesn’t have to fight for control—because you’re already offering it freely, with love. You are not alone.

As summer begins and our kids are home more, routines inevitably shift — or fade altogether. Messes increase, structure loosens, and for my ADHD-prone household, things can unravel fast without a plan. When requests go unmet or clutter takes over, I don’t know about you, but I can easily slip into fault-finding mode. “Correction” can become my default if I’m not careful — and left unchecked, this tendency can build disconnection and distance with my 17 and 20-year-old kids, whose summers under my roof seem like the last sands in the top of an hourglass. This summer, I’m naming my goal clearly  for myself-- maybe for you too?: Connection Over Correction. And, while my kids are older, this is a parenting goal that is relevant for parents with any age of child. Why Do We Feel the Need to Correct? While seemingly fueled by annoyance — the mess, the perceived laziness, the missing phone chargers and car keys, doors left wide open, dishes piling up-- our instinct to correct often stems from love or worry — wanting the best for our kids. Beneath the irritation lies something deeper: fear . When our kids make choices that don’t match our expectations — whether it’s about ambition, appearance, effort, or how they spend their time — it pokes at our sense of control  (or lack thereof). And what rises in us? Worry about the future. Are they growing? Will they be okay? Are we doing enough? For many of us, especially parents of teens and young adults, the tension lies in the unknown: What’s next? Work? School? Responsibility? When their development or maturity doesn’t follow our timeline, it’s hard not to intervene — to steer, nudge, or push. But when I’m being mindful, I notice three important things: When I clearly express my expectations ahead of time , they’re much more likely to be respected.  This is actually a hallmark of setting and maintaining boundaries. When I make a request — like tidying up — from a place of calm rather than irritation, I get a better response. If it still doesn’t happen, there can be a consequence, but the key is to not become emotional (angry, frustrated) when delivering the request.  When I have one-on-one time with my kids and choose to listen more than I talk , the more my kids open up to me, fostering deeper connection. Resisting the urge to deliver mini-lectures often leads to more trust — and more openness. A Shift in Role This summer, instead of scanning for what’s not  going right, I’m going to try to notice what is . That shift in mindset makes for stronger relationships and a more peaceful household. This summer, I’m working on trading micromanagement for curiosity. Stepping out of the “fixer/manager” role and showing up more like a “consultant” — working hard to offer insight and advice only when asked. It’s hard. But when I get it right, the results are often astonishing. And still, I’m learning. Even as a coach who does this for a living — even after years of personal growth work — our humanness just gets in the way sometimes and the pull to control or correct becomes too strong — especially when fear creeps in and we think   we know best about how our kids should  be spending their time. What helps me pause and reset are 3 key grounding questions: Is my child actually asking for help — or am I imposing it? Does my involvement actually build my kid’s confidence and capability Am I stepping in from love — or from fear, anxiety, or control? Sometimes, the bravest parenting move is to stop talking and start getting curious . We often tell ourselves our kids need our wisdom, our push. And sometimes, they do. But more often, they need us to meet them where they are  — even when it’s not where we imagined. We say we want them to be independent. But independence isn’t built through constant correction — it’s built through space, trust, and the freedom to figure it out on their own. Progress, not perfection.  That’s the mantra I’m holding onto this summer — for myself and for my kids. Maybe you want to hold it with me.

The Card I Never Sent and Why Parents Suffer Alone (Originally Published in Modern Women ) Still in its plastic, this is a card I bought about 10 years ago, sure that I would have the opportunity to send it to a friend struggling with a tough parenting moment. “Momming Ain’t Easy” Why — when we know that there are no truer words on the planet — have I not, in TEN YEARS, seen fit to send this card to a friend — to acknowledge or empathize with a vulnerable moment that no parent on Earth escapes? Why, without saying so, do so many of us feel obligated to innately know how to parent flawlessly? Why aren’t we honest with one another about the fear, worry and frustration that is a universal part of parenting? Where I live — in a hard-charging, high-achieving, high-expectation community in the Northeast — to admit that we don’t “have it all together,” is often a bridge too far — a confession that may signal to others that we (and our families/ children) aren’t… good enough? If comparison is the thief of joy then the crime rate is through the roof in my (also) quaint, lovely town, which is home to many terrific people. But for many of those people, the vulnerability associated with admitting to despair in parenting combined with the very few safe places to turn to for support, and a culture of silence around “ kid struggles” also suggests that we are a community of high achievers who are also extremely lonely and isolated in our feelings of worry and despair . And so, we act like “Momming” is a breeze — something that we were born to do well — because to admit we struggle seems the ultimate failure. After all, does anyone ever post a story about their explosive child on Instagram? Their child with ADHD and learning issues that can’t keep up in school? Their child who isolates in their room or in front of video games because the pressure of being outside of it is too scary? Their child who screams vitriol at them — because they are the safest target for their feelings that life is out of control and they blame the safest person — often Mom? Their child who remains uninvited to parties time and time again? Never. We only see bright and shiny smiles; reports of super stardom on the sports fields; announcements of college inroads; happy families on fun trips. Only the best. Not reality. Yeah — we joke with each other about our “pain in the butt” kids every once in a while — because laughter is often a mask to deep pain — just look at Robin Williams or Matthew Perry. But these “pain in the butts” are nervous wrecks because they’ve been raised by nervous wrecks who are afraid to let off the steam of their anxiety by commiserating with each other in honest, constructive ways. We live in a society that doesn’t talk to each other — REALLY speak the truth to one another — about the hard stuff. We ask o ne another, “How are you? How’s Bobby?” and feel like the only answer has to be, “Great. Everything’s swell.” We suffer in silence, worrying deeply — because to put it out in the world is… shameful. And shame, according to Brene Brown, is “the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging — something we’ve experienced, done, or failed to do makes us unworthy of connection.” Last week, a seemingly popular and successful teenager — an athlete — in the community neighboring my own took his own life. It was a stark reminder of pain we felt two years ago when my son’s friend died by suicide in 2022. The ratcheting up of fear over what if that were MY kid reignited. We ask each other, what can we do? We tell our kids to talk to each other if they’re feeling despair, but we don’t practice what we preach. Let’s stop suffering in silence. Let’s speak the truth to one another, build community around how hard parenting REALLY is. Let’s share resources and support rather than judge and condemn. When we parents are falling apart and worrying in isolation, we are only hurting our kids. Our kids are only as strong as we are. And, whether your child is 3 or 30, it’s never too late to get support. We are stronger together. We tell our kids “It’s OK not to be OK.” The same goes for parents who bear heavy burdens of their own worry: raising kids in this Type A, overachieving world, making enough money to keep up with the Joneses, dealing with demanding jobs and demanding relationships — it’s hard. It’s okay to admit it. I remember saying to a good friend who was trying to get pregnant years ago, “Parenting is the most selfish thing you can do.” “Really?” She said. “Why do you say that?” “Because you are choosing to bring a human into this world. Your baby didn’t ask to be here.” Parenting is a deliberate act — most of us choose to be a parent and nurture a human from birth to adulthood. When that baby is in our belly and we are decorating the nursery, we have no idea how hard it really will be one day. Why do we think we can or should struggle through the hard part of that journey alone? So, let’s tell the truth. Let’s support one another. Let’s stop suffering in silence. Because “Momming Ain’t Easy.” ******************* Are you or someone you know worried about their child? If so, check out my parent support groups. Strength in numbers is real. Connection and coaching with others struggling with similar issues can be transformative. This is especially true for parenting. If you are seeking a supportive tribe struggling with similar issues, let’s connect . I am actively building new parenting groups regularly.

How Parents Feeling Stuck Can Find Fulfillment Faster Than I Did (Originally Published in Modern Women ) I’m going to be honest and risk the judgment of those who believe motherhood is the ultimate fulfillment for a woman. Yes, being a mother is an amazing privilege — bringing humans into the world, loving your kids with all your heart, and watching them grow is an indescribable joy. My kids are my greatest source of happiness (and anxiety), and the greatest thing I’ve ever done. But here’s the hard truth: for me, while I wouldn’t trade it for anything, motherhood alone wasn’t enough. Between toddlerhood and the mid-teenage years, I found parenting to be deeply challenging , often tedious, and — gasp — not entirely fulfilling. In fact, I felt stuck and downright uninspired — as well as guilty for not being more grateful for all that I did have! I poured myself into parenting, trying to be everything my family needed, but the truth was, I was lost. My sense of self-worth had become entirely dependent on how my kids responded to me and how others judged me as a parent. I was running on empty and was starting to accept that I needed to make a serious change if I didn’t want to become bitter, angry, and resentful. Fear: The Ultimate Foil to Fulfillment In hindsight, my concern for other’s opinions was way out of whack, which is not an uncommon experience, according to a 2023 report by Pew Research . But more importantly, if I’m honest, I’m permanently concerned about my kids’ mental health, and I’d venture to say that I’m not alone. When the CDC reports that 40 percent of high school students experience persistent feelings of hopelessness and sadness , our amygdalas (the part of the brain that operates our fight or flight response) fire, and if we’re not careful we can end up in a permanent place of panic. It’s no wonder the Surgeon General issued a public health advisory warning of unhealthy levels of parenting-induced stress . Parents today are working harder than ever to meet impossible standards, a far cry from the free-range upbringing many of us Gen-Xers experienced. The result: a public health advisory from the U.S. surgeon general — the first of its kind about parenting-induced stress! No one prepares us for how actually toxic parenting anxiety can be, which is why it’s more important than ever to take care of ourselves and speak the truth about the worry and fear that are real. By showing it daylight, we can take a huge step forward in quelling it. As one of my favorite therapists used to say: Name it to tame it! (Keep reading about how coaching helped me.) Worried and Hormonal: A Toxic Cocktail The Silent Struggles of Middle Age I was on a treadmill of over-trying, completely unfulfilled and worried all the time. This period also coincided with the beginning of perimenopause for me. So much of the optimism and positivity I had in my younger years had seemingly vanished as I lived for everyone except myself. I had become rudderless and stuck in stagnation. My soul was in crisis. It’s well-documented that the nosedive of one’s hormones during perimenopause directly correlates with increased feelings of anxiety, depression, and listlessness (among other things). Couple this with the constant concerns for your children and that pesky fear of judgment, and you’ve got a pretty toxic cocktail. What’s more, the Surgeon General emphasizes that when parents struggle with their mental health, it negatively impacts their children’s mental health , creating a vicious cycle that any parent would want to avoid. (Read: take steps to care for yourself!) My First Step Toward Change: Calm and Coaching Out of desperation, I began exploring new paths. My journey started with qigong, an ancient Chinese meditation-movement practice that helped me find balance and calm . It was my first tiny taste of a spiritual practice outside of the Christian framework I grew up with, and it cracked me open to new ways of seeing the world — and myself. From there, a friend recommended a coaching group designed to help women rediscover themselves. Skeptical but desperate, I joined. That decision was a MAJOR catalyst for change for me. My coach guided me to explore my values, strengths, and passions. She introduced me to the concept of manifesting — dreaming unapologetically and believing in the possibility of creating a life that feels aligned and joyful. Breaking Free from Limiting Beliefs I was raised in a faith in God and always felt deeply grateful for what I had. But, striving for more than I “deserved” felt selfish. My upbringing instilled strong values like gratitude and serving others, and it also came with a heavy dose of guilt and shame for wanting too much and focusing on myself. Through coaching, I began to challenge these beliefs and listen to the quieter, wiser voice inside me — my intuition. I named that voice Wendy. She’s the opposite of my Inner Critic (named Bree), who loves to tell me to play small and avoid rocking the boat. Listening to Wendy required practice, quiet reflection and meditation, and the courage to unapologetically speak and write my desires. As I shifted focus to care for myself and looked at what I wanted out of life, I was able to quell the constant worry that I felt. Redirecting my energy to building my own fulfillment made a huge difference, and I believe the reduction in helicoptering I was doing “for” my kids made them less anxious. After all, a parent’s anxiety begets a child’s anxiety. (See aforementioned Surgeon General warning.) A parent’s anxiety begets a child’s anxiety. Writing My Vision and Making it a Reality Four years ago, I wrote a vision statement as part of my coaching work. I was instructed to write as if it was already happening — it wasn’t yet — and to dream big — nothing was off the table. It read: “I help people trust their instincts and follow their hearts through a professional life-coaching business. My work allows me the flexibility to prioritize my family while helping others rediscover their joy and purpose. I lead transformative groups, fostering community and connection. I am able to see the water every day, and I live with intention, saying no to what doesn’t serve me.” Today, nearly every part of that vision has come true. It didn’t happen overnight, but building on the beliefs I was raised in, breaking past limiting beliefs, and committing to making a change, I was able to transform a life of worry and stagnation to a life of fulfillment and joy in helping others. I manifested it — with the help of God, the Universe, and personal commitment. I went back to school to earn my coaching certification and now I help other people who feel stuck like I did . It is what I was called to do, and I would never have figured it out if I hadn’t been able to discover and listen to “Wendy” and my intuition. “Now I help other people who feel stuck like I did.” The Shift from Thermometer to Thermostat A friend recently shared a video where a man described the difference between being a thermometer and a thermostat (see below). A thermometer reacts to its environment, while a thermostat sets the temperature. For much of my life, I was a thermometer — adapting, pleasing, and blending in. But midlife brought the realization that I didn’t want to live on autopilot anymore. Through coaching, I learned how to step into the role of a thermostat — to set the tone for my life, guided by intuition and aligned with my soul’s purpose. You Can Do It Too Parenting is the toughest role we’ll ever have the privilege of doing. It’s also a marathon not a sprint. How will you care for yourself so you can hit the tape and be ready for more? Life can shift from oppressive to expansive when you dare to dream big, listen to your inner wisdom, and take intentional action. We get one life. Isn’t it better to let your soul whispers guide you than to live under the thumb of your Inner Critic? If you feel stuck, know this: change is possible. You don’t have to do it alone. I relied on the support of mental health providers for myself and my family, and ultimately coaching was instrumental in helping me find my way forward. Now, it’s my honor to help others do the same. If you’re ready to stop reacting and start creating the life you were meant to live, let’s talk . Want a roadmap to start thinking about this on your own? Click here for my free workbook to help you vision, plan and achieve your dreams.

5 Ways to Practice “The Pause” in Parenting During a parent coaching session this week, a mom I work with shared an anecdote about blowing up at her child who was trying to get her help with something while she was trying to complete an email.  “This is not how I want to show up for my kids,” she said after recalling the incident.  Snapping at her child clashed with values she holds dear. She was keen to identify ways to avoid angry responses like these. Sound familiar?  We’ve all been there.  With so many demands on our time, our kids often bear the brunt of our impatience and overwhelm.  Just like we’re a safe place for them to melt down, the reverse is often just as true.   I was so grateful for this mom’s honesty and vulnerability in bringing this up to our small group.  We all want to be seen as tranquil, patient parents with endless time and compassion, but the reality is that a constant chorus of “Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom” on repeat—always seemingly at a time when we’re focused on some other time- sensitive project— would make even Mother Theresa blow a gasket.   Lois almost had it! The truth is… wait for it… we can’t control our kids’ behavior.  Grrrrr. Only our own. When we sense the guillotine coming down on our patience and that angry cloud begins to envelop our brain, it’s easy to snap.   We are only human beings, after all.  (Not human doings, this mom said, which I thought was brilliant.)  That snap happens because our brain’s flight-or-fight center (the amygdala) takes over, leading to impulsive reactions that don’t align with our values. Practicing the Pause Learning to pause before reacting takes practice, but it’s a game changer.  The goal is to keep the rational part of your brain (the pre-frontal cortex) online, inhibiting that pesky amygdala from kicking in and causing us to blow our tops.  Here are five ways to practice “The Pause”: 1)  Square Breathing : AKA box breathing, this is a simple deep-breathing technique that helps calm your body and mind. It’s easy: inhale for four counts, hold for four, exhale for four, and hold again for four. Repeat a few cycles to reduce stress and center yourself. There’s a reason Navy SEALs  use this method to stay grounded under pressure. 2) Meditation or prayer:  Taking a quiet moment for prayer or meditation can help you find inner strength and patience. This practice can bring a sense of peace and help you stay grounded when things feel overwhelming.  If you believe in a higher power, a simple pause to ask for guidance can lead to an impactful mindset change. 3) Yoga or Chi Gong : Mindful movement, like yoga or chi gong, is a great way to reconnect with yourself and get your brain back on track. Whether it’s a few vinyasa flows or some simple sun salutations, moving your body with intention can make all the difference when you’re feeling stressed.  There’s a reason these powerful movements have been around for thousands of years! 4) Mindful Walking : Connect with nature by stepping outside for a brief walk, paying attention to the sensation of each step. Focus on your breath and your surroundings. This simple practice helps you clear your mind and feel more grounded. 5)  Journaling: Grab a notebook and take a few minutes to write down what’s on your mind. Don’t worry about what comes out—just let the words flow. Journaling helps you process emotions and gain clarity, which can keep you from reacting impulsively. Practicing the Pause (sp sp another word for mindfulness) rewires your brain, allowing you to respond  in line with your values instead of your emotions.   The more we engage in “The Pause,” the better equipped we are to stay calm and composed, even in the most stressful situations and parenting moments.

Why Saying More is Almost Always Better (Originally published in " Know Thyself, Heal Thyself " on Medium) The other day, I left a voicemail for my dear friend, Tina, that went something like this: “Is everything okay with us? I have this suspicion that something is off, and I’m curious what’s going on.” The story I was telling myself was that she was annoyed at me. We had been trying to meet up for what seemed like weeks, but it wasn’t happening due to both our busy lives. I had convinced myself that she simply wanted a break from me (which, by the way, could have been true!). Still, I did the vulnerable thing and reached out by phone — not by text, which can always be fraught with misinterpretation — convinced I was right and had somehow upset her — leading to a rupture in our friendship. Awkward? Maybe — OK, yes. But long ago I committed myself to communication over avoidance — especially in relationships that are most important to me. A few (excruciating) hours later, my friend called back and said, “What are you talking about? You’re crazy. There’s nothing wrong.” She’d been traveling nonstop; starting a new business; balancing roles as a wife, mom and caregiver to teenage children, elderly parents, and extended family; all while fiercely dedicating herself to competitive tennis. I was so relieved and a little embarrassed. But, if I hadn’t spoken up and left that awkward voicemail, I’d likely still believe our friendship was on the rocks. This experience brings me to my point: If I’ve learned anything through my decades on this earth — through my relationships and careers in Communications and Coaching — it’s this: There is no such thing as over-communicating. In fact, under -communication is often the culprit behind misunderstandings, tension, and assumptions that spiral into bad feelings. Communication is the bedrock of trust and understanding, yet too often, we’re tempted to hold back, assume, or “read between the lines,” leaving gaps that lead to misunderstandings. How We Build Stories in Silence Without open, honest exchanges, we’re left to fill in the blanks ourselves, often with the help of an ever-present Inner Critic, which, despite its many flaws, has a knack for convincing us of our inferiority. When someone seems to “go quiet” on you, doesn’t reply quickly, or doesn’t communicate clearly, our Inner Critic frequently takes the wheel, creating narratives steeped in our own insecurity. We might think, They’re upset with me, or, I must have done something wrong. Before we know it, we’ve crafted an entire story based on minimal evidence — like what I did with my friend Tina. Taking the Vulnerability Leap This recent experience brings to mind a book I just read— Tell Me Everything , the most recent novel by one of my favorite authors, Elizabeth Strout. In it, Strout’s perennial characters, novelist Lucy Barton and elderly battle-axe cum guileless truth-teller Olive Kitteridge, meet for the first time and form an unlikely friendship and deep connection by openly sharing “unrecorded life stories.” Their friendship begins when Lucy is summoned to Olive’s nursing home so that Olive can share a story that she hopes Lucy will one day write about. Their relationship grows as they share stories of loneliness, love, and life’s small but precious connections. When Lucy vulnerably tells Olive that she loves her and feels connected to her, the stolid, no-nonsense Olive replies, “ Well, phooey. I feel connected to you too. So there.” This beautiful moment inspires Olive to be vulnerable herself by writing to her best friend Isabelle, who is about to be removed from their nursing home by her daughter: “There are very few people in the world we feel connected to. I feel connected to you.” This unlikely note from Olive, inspires the meek Isabelle to stand up to her daughter and refuse to be taken from Olive, who she says she “will never be able to replace.” By doing what seemed so impossible to a guarded person like Olive, set in her self-protective ways after 90-plus years on Earth, Lucy taught Olive the gift of communicating vulnerably and the doors that can open through honesty. In doing this, Olive was able to retain the presence of one of her only trusted friends to live out their twilight years together. This became a life-saving move for Olive, who, in the silence waiting for a reply, assumed Isabelle didn’t feel the same and found herself with nothing left to live for. In speaking the oh-so-vulnerable truth to her friend, Olive’s guarded assumptions were dismantled and love bloomed. Communication, whether in these deeply personal exchanges or in our everyday interactions, builds trust and creates and reinforces bonds. In both my personal and professional life, I’ve seen how transformative communication can be when it’s prioritized. It removes ambiguity, keeps everyone on the same page, and makes space for real understanding. In Tell Me Everything, Strout creates a beautiful metaphor for this through the communication and connection that happens between her characters. The Downside of a Wild Imagination When we choose not to communicate openly, we leave the door open for the imagination to take over — and our minds often wander to the worst-case scenarios, as mine did in my story with Tina and Olive’s did with Isabelle. Choosing to over-communicate leaves less to chance, less to worry about, and far less to regret. Seen, Supported and Empowered In my coaching practice, unguarded and real stories are entrusted to me every day in the interest of breaking patterns, getting unstuck or promoting change. Some of the most beautiful transformations I see are when I’m coaching groups of people struggling with similar issues. The community and connection built in those sessions is transformative, and the relationships built through people who participate in groups often last a lifetime. Why? Because participants feel seen, supported, and empowered not only by me, their coach, but by their fellow group members. Every conversation is a chance to strengthen understanding and build self-awareness, and each exchange builds a foundation of trust. By communicating well with others, we become fluent in one another’s needs and nuances, cultivating a culture of mutual respect and critical human connection. Communicating When It’s Not Easy: Navigating Conversations with Difficult Personalities What about communicating with people you don’t see eye to eye with? This is often challenging because it requires both time and emotional investment for what may feel like minimal return. Yet, there are people in our lives — family members, co-workers, teachers, bosses — who are important to us and who we feel it’s important to be understood by. While this can sometimes feel like a fool’s errand, it offers an opportunity to clarify boundaries, state what we know to be true based on our values, and even set a respectful agreement to disagree. You won’t win everyone over with stellar communication, and that’s okay. If you’re like me, you may crave understanding and, perhaps, even being liked — but sometimes, a tough relationship has less to do with you and more to do with the other person’s insecurities, hardships — and in some cases life experiences that completely differ from your own. Often too, our own confidence or clarity may inadvertently make another party feel uncomfortable or insecure — this, and your commitment to communication over pretence. For many of us, another person’s discomfort is too much for us to bear, so avoiding communication with them seems easier. If this is true for you, try to divorce yourself from your own discomfort with their discomfort and stay honest and true to you . In moments like these, it’s easy to get frustrated by the other person’s (sometimes seemingly deliberate) misunderstanding, but remember this mantra: It’s almost always more about them than about you. Over-communication here can serve as both a reminder of who you are and a guardrail to help you navigate interactions with grace and resilience. When You Need a Moment: Practicing the Pause What if you’re triggered by something someone says, and you’re not prepared to communicate effectively in that moment? In these instances, you are well within your rights to “ practice your pause .” When emotions run high, it’s often wise to step back, even saying, “I need to take a break from this conversation.” Don’t get lured into a heated exchange, especially with someone who seems more interested in arguing than reaching mutual understanding. Practicing the pause isn’t avoidance; it’s setting a boundary that allows you to regain composure and approach the conversation with clarity and calm. This pause can prevent misunderstandings and regrettable words, reinforcing that thoughtful communication includes knowing when to step away. Remember, honoring your need for space is a powerful act of self-respect and helps keep communication constructive, even during challenging moments. Use Your Words: Communicate Freely, Communicate Often So, the next time you’re tempted to hold back, remember this: communicating too much is impossible, but communicating too little is a mistake we all too often regret. Our words bridge the gap between our intentions and others’ perceptions. They allow us to express, empathize, and grow together rather than apart. As we practice over -communication, we create a world where relationships are based on openness and grace, where assumptions are replaced with truth, and where our wise inner voice can finally be heard over the noise of our Inner Critic — the noise of doubt.

“She was six months pregnant when her husband died of an overdose,” my client Lisa told me about a dear friend as she lamented the guilt she felt for her own good fortune, which included a beautiful new daughter of her own, a husband she adores, and family that is close-by and supportive. “I have everything I could have imagined for myself and yet I feel afraid to celebrate it too much because— what if?” Guilt and fear. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. Not feeling worthy of our own good fortune. Why is this such a common feeling for so many?  Guilt for having something others might desire. Fear of a catastrophe waiting around the corner. How does this hold us back from basking in the joy of moments of goodness? Yes, bad things happen, but fear and guilt are robbing us of the joy we deserve to experience right now. So, how do we stay in the present? How do we stay in appreciation for everything that is good while feeling worthy of the desires we want and deserve? How do we feel worthy? How do we get our brains into the realization that, “Yes, damnit! I deserve joy. I deserve fulfillment. I deserve happiness. I am enough!”  How can we hold space for that friend who is suffering AND feel joyful at the same time. If you can relate, here are five simple steps towards banishing fear and guilt: If you believe in a higher power— God, the Universe, Allah—thank Him/ Her/ Them/ It for all of your good fortune. It is well-documented that people who have strong feelings of appreciation and gratitude are happier and have better well-being than those who struggle with gratitude.    Wish for what you want, know that you deserve to get it, and go get it, unapologetically.  The universe is rooting for you, and you have more angels on your shoulder than you know. No more ignoring that niggling ache because you are too busy to deal. Get that massage. Make that doctor appointment. Your body does keep the score and it’s the only one you’re going to get, so take care of it, and it will take care of you. Connect with the people who make you feel good and lift you up— people who love you want the best for you. The power of human connection on our health— physical and mental— is well-documented.  Be there for your friends  when they are suffering— they’ll be there for you when you need them.  While you should absolutely celebrate your own successes, that friend who lost her husband— be there for her.  Shine your own loving light on her.  Her own light will appear at the end of the dark tunnel she is in, and she  will be there for you when you enter your own tunnel at some point. Hold space for her sorrow while believing in her ability to overcome.  Things can suck AND also be beautiful.   Such is the dichotomy of this crazy life that we are all living. That light you are spreading will come back to you in spades when and if you every need it.  The antidote to guilt and fear lives within this recipe: gratitude, big dreams, belief in the possible, connection with others and the care and keeping of YOU.

Life is complex and often presents us with challenges that we struggle to navigate on our own. This is where coaching comes in. Coaching is not about telling you what to do, but about helping you uncover your own solutions to problems, and breaking down seemingly overwhelming challenges into manageable pieces. The Role of a Coach A coach is like a navigation partner. They don't drive the car; you're in the driver’s seat. Instead, they help you map out your route, avoiding roadblocks and finding the best path towards your destination. A coach asks the right questions that spark your thinking and allow you to come to conclusions that are best suited to your unique situation. The Impact of Coaching A global study by the International Coaching Federation found that 89 percent of individuals who have experienced coaching reported satisfaction with the experience and 96 percent of those who had a formal coaching engagement would repeat the process. Often, we find ourselves stuck in certain areas of our lives. It might be a cluttered desk that’s causing stress, or a difficult decision that you’ve been putting off. These are areas where a coach can help. Coaching can help you address these points of 'stuckness' and find ways to move forward. Once you start untangling these knots, you often find that it leads to positive changes in other areas of your life. Addressing one challenge can open up new avenues for growth and lead to profound shifts in your mindset and overall wellbeing. Coaching vs Therapy While coaching is different from therapy, more and more mental health providers are encouraging their clients to complement their psychotherapy work with coaching to create sustainable well-being through actionable plans that support behavior change and personal growth— what coaching helps deliver.  While therapy often looks to the past to heal old wounds, coaching is about looking forward. It's about setting goals and taking action. It's about empowering you to take control of your life and make the changes you want to see. The effectiveness of coaching has been noted serious academic journals  like the J ournal of Clinical Psychology and The Journal of Technology in Behavioral Science, which reported that 58 percent of people who started coaching with symptoms of depression experienced clinical recovery after at least one session with a coach and saw a 76 percent increase in their well-being overall.   The Journal of Technology in Behavioral Science reported that 58 percent of people who started coaching with symptoms of depression experienced clinical recovery after at least one session with a coach and saw a 76 percent increase in their well-being overall.   This is because Action creates Traction, and coaching is all about helping people take small, incremental steps to improve their well-being. End Goal: Fulfillment, Purpose and Satisfaction If you find yourself feeling rudderless, disconnected from your sense of purpose, or simply going through the motions without joy or fulfillment, consider coaching. It could be the tool you need to help you navigate your life's challenges and move towards a more satisfying, fulfilled life.