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The Card I Never Sent and Why Parents Suffer Alone (Originally Published in Modern Women ) Still in its plastic, this is a card I bought about 10 years ago, sure that I would have the opportunity to send it to a friend struggling with a tough parenting moment. “Momming Ain’t Easy” Why — when we know that there are no truer words on the planet — have I not, in TEN YEARS, seen fit to send this card to a friend — to acknowledge or empathize with a vulnerable moment that no parent on Earth escapes? Why, without saying so, do so many of us feel obligated to innately know how to parent flawlessly? Why aren’t we honest with one another about the fear, worry and frustration that is a universal part of parenting? Where I live — in a hard-charging, high-achieving, high-expectation community in the Northeast — to admit that we don’t “have it all together,” is often a bridge too far — a confession that may signal to others that we (and our families/ children) aren’t… good enough? If comparison is the thief of joy then the crime rate is through the roof in my (also) quaint, lovely town, which is home to many terrific people. But for many of those people, the vulnerability associated with admitting to despair in parenting combined with the very few safe places to turn to for support, and a culture of silence around “ kid struggles” also suggests that we are a community of high achievers who are also extremely lonely and isolated in our feelings of worry and despair . And so, we act like “Momming” is a breeze — something that we were born to do well — because to admit we struggle seems the ultimate failure. After all, does anyone ever post a story about their explosive child on Instagram? Their child with ADHD and learning issues that can’t keep up in school? Their child who isolates in their room or in front of video games because the pressure of being outside of it is too scary? Their child who screams vitriol at them — because they are the safest target for their feelings that life is out of control and they blame the safest person — often Mom? Their child who remains uninvited to parties time and time again? Never. We only see bright and shiny smiles; reports of super stardom on the sports fields; announcements of college inroads; happy families on fun trips. Only the best. Not reality. Yeah — we joke with each other about our “pain in the butt” kids every once in a while — because laughter is often a mask to deep pain — just look at Robin Williams or Matthew Perry. But these “pain in the butts” are nervous wrecks because they’ve been raised by nervous wrecks who are afraid to let off the steam of their anxiety by commiserating with each other in honest, constructive ways. We live in a society that doesn’t talk to each other — REALLY speak the truth to one another — about the hard stuff. We ask o ne another, “How are you? How’s Bobby?” and feel like the only answer has to be, “Great. Everything’s swell.” We suffer in silence, worrying deeply — because to put it out in the world is… shameful. And shame, according to Brene Brown, is “the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging — something we’ve experienced, done, or failed to do makes us unworthy of connection.” Last week, a seemingly popular and successful teenager — an athlete — in the community neighboring my own took his own life. It was a stark reminder of pain we felt two years ago when my son’s friend died by suicide in 2022. The ratcheting up of fear over what if that were MY kid reignited. We ask each other, what can we do? We tell our kids to talk to each other if they’re feeling despair, but we don’t practice what we preach. Let’s stop suffering in silence. Let’s speak the truth to one another, build community around how hard parenting REALLY is. Let’s share resources and support rather than judge and condemn. When we parents are falling apart and worrying in isolation, we are only hurting our kids. Our kids are only as strong as we are. And, whether your child is 3 or 30, it’s never too late to get support. We are stronger together. We tell our kids “It’s OK not to be OK.” The same goes for parents who bear heavy burdens of their own worry: raising kids in this Type A, overachieving world, making enough money to keep up with the Joneses, dealing with demanding jobs and demanding relationships — it’s hard. It’s okay to admit it. I remember saying to a good friend who was trying to get pregnant years ago, “Parenting is the most selfish thing you can do.” “Really?” She said. “Why do you say that?” “Because you are choosing to bring a human into this world. Your baby didn’t ask to be here.” Parenting is a deliberate act — most of us choose to be a parent and nurture a human from birth to adulthood. When that baby is in our belly and we are decorating the nursery, we have no idea how hard it really will be one day. Why do we think we can or should struggle through the hard part of that journey alone? So, let’s tell the truth. Let’s support one another. Let’s stop suffering in silence. Because “Momming Ain’t Easy.” ******************* Are you or someone you know worried about their child? If so, check out my parent support groups. Strength in numbers is real. Connection and coaching with others struggling with similar issues can be transformative. This is especially true for parenting. If you are seeking a supportive tribe struggling with similar issues, let’s connect . I am actively building new parenting groups regularly.

How Parents Feeling Stuck Can Find Fulfillment Faster Than I Did (Originally Published in Modern Women ) I’m going to be honest and risk the judgment of those who believe motherhood is the ultimate fulfillment for a woman. Yes, being a mother is an amazing privilege — bringing humans into the world, loving your kids with all your heart, and watching them grow is an indescribable joy. My kids are my greatest source of happiness (and anxiety), and the greatest thing I’ve ever done. But here’s the hard truth: for me, while I wouldn’t trade it for anything, motherhood alone wasn’t enough. Between toddlerhood and the mid-teenage years, I found parenting to be deeply challenging , often tedious, and — gasp — not entirely fulfilling. In fact, I felt stuck and downright uninspired — as well as guilty for not being more grateful for all that I did have! I poured myself into parenting, trying to be everything my family needed, but the truth was, I was lost. My sense of self-worth had become entirely dependent on how my kids responded to me and how others judged me as a parent. I was running on empty and was starting to accept that I needed to make a serious change if I didn’t want to become bitter, angry, and resentful. Fear: The Ultimate Foil to Fulfillment In hindsight, my concern for other’s opinions was way out of whack, which is not an uncommon experience, according to a 2023 report by Pew Research . But more importantly, if I’m honest, I’m permanently concerned about my kids’ mental health, and I’d venture to say that I’m not alone. When the CDC reports that 40 percent of high school students experience persistent feelings of hopelessness and sadness , our amygdalas (the part of the brain that operates our fight or flight response) fire, and if we’re not careful we can end up in a permanent place of panic. It’s no wonder the Surgeon General issued a public health advisory warning of unhealthy levels of parenting-induced stress . Parents today are working harder than ever to meet impossible standards, a far cry from the free-range upbringing many of us Gen-Xers experienced. The result: a public health advisory from the U.S. surgeon general — the first of its kind about parenting-induced stress! No one prepares us for how actually toxic parenting anxiety can be, which is why it’s more important than ever to take care of ourselves and speak the truth about the worry and fear that are real. By showing it daylight, we can take a huge step forward in quelling it. As one of my favorite therapists used to say: Name it to tame it! (Keep reading about how coaching helped me.) Worried and Hormonal: A Toxic Cocktail The Silent Struggles of Middle Age I was on a treadmill of over-trying, completely unfulfilled and worried all the time. This period also coincided with the beginning of perimenopause for me. So much of the optimism and positivity I had in my younger years had seemingly vanished as I lived for everyone except myself. I had become rudderless and stuck in stagnation. My soul was in crisis. It’s well-documented that the nosedive of one’s hormones during perimenopause directly correlates with increased feelings of anxiety, depression, and listlessness (among other things). Couple this with the constant concerns for your children and that pesky fear of judgment, and you’ve got a pretty toxic cocktail. What’s more, the Surgeon General emphasizes that when parents struggle with their mental health, it negatively impacts their children’s mental health , creating a vicious cycle that any parent would want to avoid. (Read: take steps to care for yourself!) My First Step Toward Change: Calm and Coaching Out of desperation, I began exploring new paths. My journey started with qigong, an ancient Chinese meditation-movement practice that helped me find balance and calm . It was my first tiny taste of a spiritual practice outside of the Christian framework I grew up with, and it cracked me open to new ways of seeing the world — and myself. From there, a friend recommended a coaching group designed to help women rediscover themselves. Skeptical but desperate, I joined. That decision was a MAJOR catalyst for change for me. My coach guided me to explore my values, strengths, and passions. She introduced me to the concept of manifesting — dreaming unapologetically and believing in the possibility of creating a life that feels aligned and joyful. Breaking Free from Limiting Beliefs I was raised in a faith in God and always felt deeply grateful for what I had. But, striving for more than I “deserved” felt selfish. My upbringing instilled strong values like gratitude and serving others, and it also came with a heavy dose of guilt and shame for wanting too much and focusing on myself. Through coaching, I began to challenge these beliefs and listen to the quieter, wiser voice inside me — my intuition. I named that voice Wendy. She’s the opposite of my Inner Critic (named Bree), who loves to tell me to play small and avoid rocking the boat. Listening to Wendy required practice, quiet reflection and meditation, and the courage to unapologetically speak and write my desires. As I shifted focus to care for myself and looked at what I wanted out of life, I was able to quell the constant worry that I felt. Redirecting my energy to building my own fulfillment made a huge difference, and I believe the reduction in helicoptering I was doing “for” my kids made them less anxious. After all, a parent’s anxiety begets a child’s anxiety. (See aforementioned Surgeon General warning.) A parent’s anxiety begets a child’s anxiety. Writing My Vision and Making it a Reality Four years ago, I wrote a vision statement as part of my coaching work. I was instructed to write as if it was already happening — it wasn’t yet — and to dream big — nothing was off the table. It read: “I help people trust their instincts and follow their hearts through a professional life-coaching business. My work allows me the flexibility to prioritize my family while helping others rediscover their joy and purpose. I lead transformative groups, fostering community and connection. I am able to see the water every day, and I live with intention, saying no to what doesn’t serve me.” Today, nearly every part of that vision has come true. It didn’t happen overnight, but building on the beliefs I was raised in, breaking past limiting beliefs, and committing to making a change, I was able to transform a life of worry and stagnation to a life of fulfillment and joy in helping others. I manifested it — with the help of God, the Universe, and personal commitment. I went back to school to earn my coaching certification and now I help other people who feel stuck like I did . It is what I was called to do, and I would never have figured it out if I hadn’t been able to discover and listen to “Wendy” and my intuition. “Now I help other people who feel stuck like I did.” The Shift from Thermometer to Thermostat A friend recently shared a video where a man described the difference between being a thermometer and a thermostat (see below). A thermometer reacts to its environment, while a thermostat sets the temperature. For much of my life, I was a thermometer — adapting, pleasing, and blending in. But midlife brought the realization that I didn’t want to live on autopilot anymore. Through coaching, I learned how to step into the role of a thermostat — to set the tone for my life, guided by intuition and aligned with my soul’s purpose. You Can Do It Too Parenting is the toughest role we’ll ever have the privilege of doing. It’s also a marathon not a sprint. How will you care for yourself so you can hit the tape and be ready for more? Life can shift from oppressive to expansive when you dare to dream big, listen to your inner wisdom, and take intentional action. We get one life. Isn’t it better to let your soul whispers guide you than to live under the thumb of your Inner Critic? If you feel stuck, know this: change is possible. You don’t have to do it alone. I relied on the support of mental health providers for myself and my family, and ultimately coaching was instrumental in helping me find my way forward. Now, it’s my honor to help others do the same. If you’re ready to stop reacting and start creating the life you were meant to live, let’s talk . Want a roadmap to start thinking about this on your own? Click here for my free workbook to help you vision, plan and achieve your dreams.

5 Ways to Practice “The Pause” in Parenting During a parent coaching session this week, a mom I work with shared an anecdote about blowing up at her child who was trying to get her help with something while she was trying to complete an email.  “This is not how I want to show up for my kids,” she said after recalling the incident.  Snapping at her child clashed with values she holds dear. She was keen to identify ways to avoid angry responses like these. Sound familiar?  We’ve all been there.  With so many demands on our time, our kids often bear the brunt of our impatience and overwhelm.  Just like we’re a safe place for them to melt down, the reverse is often just as true.   I was so grateful for this mom’s honesty and vulnerability in bringing this up to our small group.  We all want to be seen as tranquil, patient parents with endless time and compassion, but the reality is that a constant chorus of “Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom” on repeat—always seemingly at a time when we’re focused on some other time- sensitive project— would make even Mother Theresa blow a gasket.   Lois almost had it! The truth is… wait for it… we can’t control our kids’ behavior.  Grrrrr. Only our own. When we sense the guillotine coming down on our patience and that angry cloud begins to envelop our brain, it’s easy to snap.   We are only human beings, after all.  (Not human doings, this mom said, which I thought was brilliant.)  That snap happens because our brain’s flight-or-fight center (the amygdala) takes over, leading to impulsive reactions that don’t align with our values. Practicing the Pause Learning to pause before reacting takes practice, but it’s a game changer.  The goal is to keep the rational part of your brain (the pre-frontal cortex) online, inhibiting that pesky amygdala from kicking in and causing us to blow our tops.  Here are five ways to practice “The Pause”: 1)  Square Breathing : AKA box breathing, this is a simple deep-breathing technique that helps calm your body and mind. It’s easy: inhale for four counts, hold for four, exhale for four, and hold again for four. Repeat a few cycles to reduce stress and center yourself. There’s a reason Navy SEALs  use this method to stay grounded under pressure. 2) Meditation or prayer:  Taking a quiet moment for prayer or meditation can help you find inner strength and patience. This practice can bring a sense of peace and help you stay grounded when things feel overwhelming.  If you believe in a higher power, a simple pause to ask for guidance can lead to an impactful mindset change. 3) Yoga or Chi Gong : Mindful movement, like yoga or chi gong, is a great way to reconnect with yourself and get your brain back on track. Whether it’s a few vinyasa flows or some simple sun salutations, moving your body with intention can make all the difference when you’re feeling stressed.  There’s a reason these powerful movements have been around for thousands of years! 4) Mindful Walking : Connect with nature by stepping outside for a brief walk, paying attention to the sensation of each step. Focus on your breath and your surroundings. This simple practice helps you clear your mind and feel more grounded. 5)  Journaling: Grab a notebook and take a few minutes to write down what’s on your mind. Don’t worry about what comes out—just let the words flow. Journaling helps you process emotions and gain clarity, which can keep you from reacting impulsively. Practicing the Pause (sp sp another word for mindfulness) rewires your brain, allowing you to respond  in line with your values instead of your emotions.   The more we engage in “The Pause,” the better equipped we are to stay calm and composed, even in the most stressful situations and parenting moments.

Why Saying More is Almost Always Better (Originally published in " Know Thyself, Heal Thyself " on Medium) The other day, I left a voicemail for my dear friend, Tina, that went something like this: “Is everything okay with us? I have this suspicion that something is off, and I’m curious what’s going on.” The story I was telling myself was that she was annoyed at me. We had been trying to meet up for what seemed like weeks, but it wasn’t happening due to both our busy lives. I had convinced myself that she simply wanted a break from me (which, by the way, could have been true!). Still, I did the vulnerable thing and reached out by phone — not by text, which can always be fraught with misinterpretation — convinced I was right and had somehow upset her — leading to a rupture in our friendship. Awkward? Maybe — OK, yes. But long ago I committed myself to communication over avoidance — especially in relationships that are most important to me. A few (excruciating) hours later, my friend called back and said, “What are you talking about? You’re crazy. There’s nothing wrong.” She’d been traveling nonstop; starting a new business; balancing roles as a wife, mom and caregiver to teenage children, elderly parents, and extended family; all while fiercely dedicating herself to competitive tennis. I was so relieved and a little embarrassed. But, if I hadn’t spoken up and left that awkward voicemail, I’d likely still believe our friendship was on the rocks. This experience brings me to my point: If I’ve learned anything through my decades on this earth — through my relationships and careers in Communications and Coaching — it’s this: There is no such thing as over-communicating. In fact, under -communication is often the culprit behind misunderstandings, tension, and assumptions that spiral into bad feelings. Communication is the bedrock of trust and understanding, yet too often, we’re tempted to hold back, assume, or “read between the lines,” leaving gaps that lead to misunderstandings. How We Build Stories in Silence Without open, honest exchanges, we’re left to fill in the blanks ourselves, often with the help of an ever-present Inner Critic, which, despite its many flaws, has a knack for convincing us of our inferiority. When someone seems to “go quiet” on you, doesn’t reply quickly, or doesn’t communicate clearly, our Inner Critic frequently takes the wheel, creating narratives steeped in our own insecurity. We might think, They’re upset with me, or, I must have done something wrong. Before we know it, we’ve crafted an entire story based on minimal evidence — like what I did with my friend Tina. Taking the Vulnerability Leap This recent experience brings to mind a book I just read— Tell Me Everything , the most recent novel by one of my favorite authors, Elizabeth Strout. In it, Strout’s perennial characters, novelist Lucy Barton and elderly battle-axe cum guileless truth-teller Olive Kitteridge, meet for the first time and form an unlikely friendship and deep connection by openly sharing “unrecorded life stories.” Their friendship begins when Lucy is summoned to Olive’s nursing home so that Olive can share a story that she hopes Lucy will one day write about. Their relationship grows as they share stories of loneliness, love, and life’s small but precious connections. When Lucy vulnerably tells Olive that she loves her and feels connected to her, the stolid, no-nonsense Olive replies, “ Well, phooey. I feel connected to you too. So there.” This beautiful moment inspires Olive to be vulnerable herself by writing to her best friend Isabelle, who is about to be removed from their nursing home by her daughter: “There are very few people in the world we feel connected to. I feel connected to you.” This unlikely note from Olive, inspires the meek Isabelle to stand up to her daughter and refuse to be taken from Olive, who she says she “will never be able to replace.” By doing what seemed so impossible to a guarded person like Olive, set in her self-protective ways after 90-plus years on Earth, Lucy taught Olive the gift of communicating vulnerably and the doors that can open through honesty. In doing this, Olive was able to retain the presence of one of her only trusted friends to live out their twilight years together. This became a life-saving move for Olive, who, in the silence waiting for a reply, assumed Isabelle didn’t feel the same and found herself with nothing left to live for. In speaking the oh-so-vulnerable truth to her friend, Olive’s guarded assumptions were dismantled and love bloomed. Communication, whether in these deeply personal exchanges or in our everyday interactions, builds trust and creates and reinforces bonds. In both my personal and professional life, I’ve seen how transformative communication can be when it’s prioritized. It removes ambiguity, keeps everyone on the same page, and makes space for real understanding. In Tell Me Everything, Strout creates a beautiful metaphor for this through the communication and connection that happens between her characters. The Downside of a Wild Imagination When we choose not to communicate openly, we leave the door open for the imagination to take over — and our minds often wander to the worst-case scenarios, as mine did in my story with Tina and Olive’s did with Isabelle. Choosing to over-communicate leaves less to chance, less to worry about, and far less to regret. Seen, Supported and Empowered In my coaching practice, unguarded and real stories are entrusted to me every day in the interest of breaking patterns, getting unstuck or promoting change. Some of the most beautiful transformations I see are when I’m coaching groups of people struggling with similar issues. The community and connection built in those sessions is transformative, and the relationships built through people who participate in groups often last a lifetime. Why? Because participants feel seen, supported, and empowered not only by me, their coach, but by their fellow group members. Every conversation is a chance to strengthen understanding and build self-awareness, and each exchange builds a foundation of trust. By communicating well with others, we become fluent in one another’s needs and nuances, cultivating a culture of mutual respect and critical human connection. Communicating When It’s Not Easy: Navigating Conversations with Difficult Personalities What about communicating with people you don’t see eye to eye with? This is often challenging because it requires both time and emotional investment for what may feel like minimal return. Yet, there are people in our lives — family members, co-workers, teachers, bosses — who are important to us and who we feel it’s important to be understood by. While this can sometimes feel like a fool’s errand, it offers an opportunity to clarify boundaries, state what we know to be true based on our values, and even set a respectful agreement to disagree. You won’t win everyone over with stellar communication, and that’s okay. If you’re like me, you may crave understanding and, perhaps, even being liked — but sometimes, a tough relationship has less to do with you and more to do with the other person’s insecurities, hardships — and in some cases life experiences that completely differ from your own. Often too, our own confidence or clarity may inadvertently make another party feel uncomfortable or insecure — this, and your commitment to communication over pretence. For many of us, another person’s discomfort is too much for us to bear, so avoiding communication with them seems easier. If this is true for you, try to divorce yourself from your own discomfort with their discomfort and stay honest and true to you . In moments like these, it’s easy to get frustrated by the other person’s (sometimes seemingly deliberate) misunderstanding, but remember this mantra: It’s almost always more about them than about you. Over-communication here can serve as both a reminder of who you are and a guardrail to help you navigate interactions with grace and resilience. When You Need a Moment: Practicing the Pause What if you’re triggered by something someone says, and you’re not prepared to communicate effectively in that moment? In these instances, you are well within your rights to “ practice your pause .” When emotions run high, it’s often wise to step back, even saying, “I need to take a break from this conversation.” Don’t get lured into a heated exchange, especially with someone who seems more interested in arguing than reaching mutual understanding. Practicing the pause isn’t avoidance; it’s setting a boundary that allows you to regain composure and approach the conversation with clarity and calm. This pause can prevent misunderstandings and regrettable words, reinforcing that thoughtful communication includes knowing when to step away. Remember, honoring your need for space is a powerful act of self-respect and helps keep communication constructive, even during challenging moments. Use Your Words: Communicate Freely, Communicate Often So, the next time you’re tempted to hold back, remember this: communicating too much is impossible, but communicating too little is a mistake we all too often regret. Our words bridge the gap between our intentions and others’ perceptions. They allow us to express, empathize, and grow together rather than apart. As we practice over -communication, we create a world where relationships are based on openness and grace, where assumptions are replaced with truth, and where our wise inner voice can finally be heard over the noise of our Inner Critic — the noise of doubt.

“She was six months pregnant when her husband died of an overdose,” my client Lisa told me about a dear friend as she lamented the guilt she felt for her own good fortune, which included a beautiful new daughter of her own, a husband she adores, and family that is close-by and supportive. “I have everything I could have imagined for myself and yet I feel afraid to celebrate it too much because— what if?” Guilt and fear. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. Not feeling worthy of our own good fortune. Why is this such a common feeling for so many?  Guilt for having something others might desire. Fear of a catastrophe waiting around the corner. How does this hold us back from basking in the joy of moments of goodness? Yes, bad things happen, but fear and guilt are robbing us of the joy we deserve to experience right now. So, how do we stay in the present? How do we stay in appreciation for everything that is good while feeling worthy of the desires we want and deserve? How do we feel worthy? How do we get our brains into the realization that, “Yes, damnit! I deserve joy. I deserve fulfillment. I deserve happiness. I am enough!”  How can we hold space for that friend who is suffering AND feel joyful at the same time. If you can relate, here are five simple steps towards banishing fear and guilt: If you believe in a higher power— God, the Universe, Allah—thank Him/ Her/ Them/ It for all of your good fortune. It is well-documented that people who have strong feelings of appreciation and gratitude are happier and have better well-being than those who struggle with gratitude.    Wish for what you want, know that you deserve to get it, and go get it, unapologetically.  The universe is rooting for you, and you have more angels on your shoulder than you know. No more ignoring that niggling ache because you are too busy to deal. Get that massage. Make that doctor appointment. Your body does keep the score and it’s the only one you’re going to get, so take care of it, and it will take care of you. Connect with the people who make you feel good and lift you up— people who love you want the best for you. The power of human connection on our health— physical and mental— is well-documented.  Be there for your friends  when they are suffering— they’ll be there for you when you need them.  While you should absolutely celebrate your own successes, that friend who lost her husband— be there for her.  Shine your own loving light on her.  Her own light will appear at the end of the dark tunnel she is in, and she  will be there for you when you enter your own tunnel at some point. Hold space for her sorrow while believing in her ability to overcome.  Things can suck AND also be beautiful.   Such is the dichotomy of this crazy life that we are all living. That light you are spreading will come back to you in spades when and if you every need it.  The antidote to guilt and fear lives within this recipe: gratitude, big dreams, belief in the possible, connection with others and the care and keeping of YOU.

At the risk of stating the obvious: Feeling stuck sucks. We’ve all been there. You wake up, go through the motions: unloading the dishwasher, folding the laundry, driving the kids around, clocking into the same job that maybe you’ve grown to resent… You feel rudderless, disconnected from your sense of purpose— a sense of malaise coloring your life while everyone around you seems to have it all figured out.  This can be incredibly isolating. You Are Not Alone If you identify with this feeling and want to fix it, here are three brave moves to put you on the path to getting unstuck while not becoming unglued. Often, we're afraid to voice feelings of stuckness or discontent. It’s a vulnerable thing to admit.  We fear that expressing our true feelings might be too disruptive to those who rely on us. Sometimes doing nothing to make change seems easier than making a life-changing course correction that will bring you joy and fulfillment. You may feel guilt about inconveniencing a colleague or a spouse who have relied on you to stay the course.  No more pretending! Speak up about how you're really feeling.  Anyone who cares about you will not want you to feel so miserable. Maybe they're oblivious to the fact that your status quo is chipping away at your quality of life and possibly even your health, dragging your soul down with it!  Don’t short change yourself. You deserve fulfillment!   Remember, you have to crack some eggs to make the perfect omelette. Be bold about naming what you want and going after it. ( See 6 Ways to Manifest Anything You Desire .) The answer lies within you. You have so much more power and insight than you may realize. Take small steps every day towards understanding and defining your purpose and what makes you feel satisfied. Yes, YOU can do it, but sometimes we all need a little help. This is where a coach, trusted friend or therapist can be invaluable in helping you shed feelings of guilt or complacency and take tangible steps on your path to fulfillment, as well as helping you define what you really want. Someone like this can provide an objective perspective and help you understand your feelings better. They can help you navigate the ups and downs, the uncertainties, and the fears. Remember, you're not alone in this journey.  If you're feeling stuck and need someone to walk beside you, I'm here and would love to help you find your key to fulfillment. Together, we can explore your path to joy, satisfaction, and a life of purpose.

Life is complex and often presents us with challenges that we struggle to navigate on our own. This is where coaching comes in. Coaching is not about telling you what to do, but about helping you uncover your own solutions to problems, and breaking down seemingly overwhelming challenges into manageable pieces. The Role of a Coach A coach is like a navigation partner. They don't drive the car; you're in the driver’s seat. Instead, they help you map out your route, avoiding roadblocks and finding the best path towards your destination. A coach asks the right questions that spark your thinking and allow you to come to conclusions that are best suited to your unique situation. The Impact of Coaching A global study by the International Coaching Federation found that 89 percent of individuals who have experienced coaching reported satisfaction with the experience and 96 percent of those who had a formal coaching engagement would repeat the process. Often, we find ourselves stuck in certain areas of our lives. It might be a cluttered desk that’s causing stress, or a difficult decision that you’ve been putting off. These are areas where a coach can help. Coaching can help you address these points of 'stuckness' and find ways to move forward. Once you start untangling these knots, you often find that it leads to positive changes in other areas of your life. Addressing one challenge can open up new avenues for growth and lead to profound shifts in your mindset and overall wellbeing. Coaching vs Therapy While coaching is different from therapy, more and more mental health providers are encouraging their clients to complement their psychotherapy work with coaching to create sustainable well-being through actionable plans that support behavior change and personal growth— what coaching helps deliver.  While therapy often looks to the past to heal old wounds, coaching is about looking forward. It's about setting goals and taking action. It's about empowering you to take control of your life and make the changes you want to see. The effectiveness of coaching has been noted serious academic journals  like the J ournal of Clinical Psychology and The Journal of Technology in Behavioral Science, which reported that 58 percent of people who started coaching with symptoms of depression experienced clinical recovery after at least one session with a coach and saw a 76 percent increase in their well-being overall.   The Journal of Technology in Behavioral Science reported that 58 percent of people who started coaching with symptoms of depression experienced clinical recovery after at least one session with a coach and saw a 76 percent increase in their well-being overall.   This is because Action creates Traction, and coaching is all about helping people take small, incremental steps to improve their well-being. End Goal: Fulfillment, Purpose and Satisfaction If you find yourself feeling rudderless, disconnected from your sense of purpose, or simply going through the motions without joy or fulfillment, consider coaching. It could be the tool you need to help you navigate your life's challenges and move towards a more satisfying, fulfilled life.

My client Ashley is an admitted perfectionist who fears releasing anything into the world until it has met a standard that even a Harvard professor would look at and say, “Girlfriend, you’re good!”   Ashley is a busy mom with two athletic kids who rely on her for rides to countless sports practices and games— not to mention tutoring sessions, play dates and school events.  On top of this, Ashley, who is charge of all of the household responsibilities for her family, also has a demanding deadline-intensive job— as well as things she wants to accomplish and do that actually bring her joy, like spending time with friends and taking care of herself! She came to me feeling a general lack of “joie de vivre” in her life.  She was unable to appreciate all of the amazing things she does  accomplish each day and, instead, she was plagued with self-doubt and judgement about the long list of things she couldn’t get to.   In short, Ashley was paralyzed by her overwhelm, resulting in stagnation.  She was lost in what I like to call, the Bermuda Triangle of Prioritization, Perfectionism and Procrastination.   Together, Ashley and I embarked on a series of “White Board Sessions” that helped her tame her endless to do list (and along with it, her inner critic), making her feel more in control, mentally organized, and happier.  Ashley told me it felt like she had hired a professional organizer for her brain.    The following are the five steps Ashley and I employed to overcome her overwhelm to put her on the pathway to productivity and purpose. (Read about Conquering Overwhelm in more detail here. ): If Ashley’s story resonates with you, click here to schedule a complimentary discovery call .   I would be honored to help put you  on the path to productivity and purpose.

Are you paralyzed by your to-do list?  Is your mind so overloaded with ideas and tasks that you’re having a hard time figuring out how or where and when to execute and prioritize them?   You are not alone.   My client, Ashley , a busy working mom, and self-admitted perfectionist, came to me feeling a general lack of “joie de vivre” in her life. She was unable to appreciate all of the amazing things she does  accomplish each day and, instead, she was plagued with self-doubt and judgement about the long list of things she couldn’t get to.   In short, Ashley was paralyzed by her overwhelm.  She was lost in the Bermuda Triangle of Prioritization, Perfectionism and Procrastination.   The following are the five steps Ashley and I employed to overcome her overwhelm to put her on the pathway to productivity and purpose.  Click Here to learn more about Ashley’s results .  On top of all the mission critical things she was getting done every day, the things Ashley wasn’t getting to gave her a feeling of guilt and deep anxiety— the shirt she needed to return to the store, the insurance claim she needed to file, the sprinkler system she needed to restart for the summer…  All super boring, unfulfilling tasks, to be sure, but ones that were causing Ashley serious mental clutter and contributing to her feeling of overall malaise in life.  She had lost her sense of purpose— a clear view of the most important goals in her life , as well as the biggest pain points she needed to address to make her overall life happier and rediscover her sense of well-being.  Once these were defined, we had a foundation for decision-making about what tasks and projects were truly important, what she could delegate, and what she could simply blow off— yes, some of those action items got wiped away! During this session, it was unbelievably helpful to use a white board to get everything out of Ashley’s head and into one central place where we could see it in all of its glory.  Not only did Ashley have the mundane stuff she needed to get done, but the process allowed her to tap into bigger, more fulfilling things she wanted to tackle that would give her a sense of purpose and help her achieve some of the life objectives that would ultimately bring her happiness.  A visual representation brought clarity to the overwhelm that was plaguing Ashley’s psyche.  (If you don’t have a whiteboard—you can order one very easily on Amazon, or just use a blank sheet of paper to get you going.).  Once Ashley had all of her ideas and tasks expunged from her brain and onto the White Board, she could categorize them under the bigger life goals they aligned with. (See #1 above.) This allowed Ashley to see the direct connections between her to-do list and her biggest goals. From here, Ashley was able to start to prioritize her ideas and tasks based on those that had the highest and best outcomes for achieving her goals and making her a happy human.  And in the course of this, Ashley was able to realize some other, more important priorities that involved her own self-care that trumped the mundane things she was dreading. Having a list of prioritized tasks is a great start, but without deadlines, they're just good intentions.  That said, to tame the overwhelm, I insisted that Ashley give herself a lot of grace in checking all her boxes.  Ashley set  realistic  deadlines for executing her list.  After our initial White Board sesh, Ashley and I checked in every week, to see where she was, adjust deadlines as appropriate, and talk through things that were still stumping her.  Ashley appreciated the accountability that the check-ins brought her and she was finding that, some weeks, she was accomplishing way more than she initially set out to.  I was noticing her entire demeanor change.  She was more confident, was holding her shoulders back and her head higher, and she reported feeling a much greater sense of well-being.  Lastly, the key to Ashley’s success was the time she deliberately set aside in her busy schedule to execute all the things she wanted to- large and small, boring and exciting.  Ashley also figured out that she  actually didn’t have to do all the the things on her list. She was able to delegate many of the items to her kids and her husband, freeing up her time to get the things she really loves and enjoys This dedicated time on the calendar was a non-negotiable for Ashley, and she treated it with the same reverence and respect she would a work responsibility.   Through the whole process, Ashley figured out that overcoming her overwhelm was not about doing more. It was about doing more of what matters.  By identifying her biggest goals, whiteboarding her ideas, categorizing and prioritizing, setting deadlines and scheduling time for execution, Ashley slowly became a new woman.

Are you intrigued by the concept of "manifesting"? While we all harbor dreams and desires, it's natural to wonder if they can truly materialize. What if I told you they can?  You are meant to be happy, content, and fulfilled.  If you find yourself lacking in these areas, fear not. Here are six transformative methods to set you on the journey of manifesting your deepest desires. First, it's crucial to create an environment of tranquility and peace . Is your desk cluttered? Are there piles of your children’s art sitting in eyesight that make you feel a niggle of guilt? We all have those “I’ll get to it later” piles, but many times those seemingly innocuous piles are creating stress without our even know it, draining our energy and subconsciously stressing us out. Clear the clutter.   Make the environment where you work, a den of Zen, where you can achieve your highest and best outcomes.    Does this feel daunting to you?  Do you need help putting one foot in front of the other to start this process? If so, contact me . Find a quiet and tranquil  spot where you can go to close your eyes and clear your mind. I like to start with an intention. Do I want a clear mind so I can write blog posts that will provide meaningful help to people? Am I about to work with my child in tackling a problem they’re trying to overcome and want to show up for them with patience and love? Or am I just feeling complete overwhelm and need to take a five minute breather? Next, focus on your breath.  When thoughts come up, acknowledge them and let them go. This meditative state allows you to tap into your inner voice and, if you believe in them, your spirit guides who have your back. Taking time out to breathe and enjoy the quiet is a great next step in starting to manifesting your desires. Now that your mind is clear and your workspace is tranquil, take a few moments to write about what you want and how you might achieve it. Don't hold back—nothing is out of reach!  Whether it's a daily view of mountains, a new job with better pay, or mending a relationship, write it all down. Let your pen guide you, and you'll be surprised by the creativity and ideas that come from your wise inner voice. Next, identify 2-3 small actions you can take towards achieving your goals. Set realistic deadlines for yourself, hold yourself accountable ( or find a partner to help with this ), and reward yourself when you’ve checked a tough box. Your actions can be as simple as having a coffee with a friend who can offer advice or contacts, or making a call to a realtor who handles homes with mountain views.  Remember: action creates traction. When you feel insecure or stuck, remind yourself that you are safe and capable. You have the potential to achieve anything you set your mind to. If you find yourself stuck, return to step one and repeat the process. (Also, check out this post about “ Three Brave Ways to get Unstuck .) The key is to remain patient and persistent.  Forgive yourself if you stumble and just keep going! Lastly, remember that anything is possible if you believe  and make small, incremental efforts toward your goals. Keep this belief strong and vibrant, and you'll find that anything you desire can become a reality.